


We'll Be Counting Stars

by feveredpitch



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-07
Updated: 2014-02-07
Packaged: 2018-01-11 11:32:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 54
Words: 24,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1172556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feveredpitch/pseuds/feveredpitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of my fluffy and smutty McKirk ficlets from my <a href="jimmkirk.tumblr.com">Tumblr</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Jim and Bones spend their shore leave on a remote beach where no one could track them happy to spend their days lounging in the sand in each other's arms. One day, Jim takes a stick and starts drawing in the sand.

"Jesus Jim, what the hell is that?"

"You're kidding right? It's a heart!"

"That is a poor excuse of a heart."

"Fine, yes I know. Its a shitty heart...but it's yours." 

Jim couldn't help but blush at his rare and unplanned showcase of emotion. Bones just crossed over to Jim, embracing him and placing a soft kiss at his temple.

"Mine too, darlin'. Always."


	2. Chapter 2

Bones and Jim can't really tell you an anniversary date. They can't tell you the first time they really knew they loved each other. They can't tell you when it all changed for them. It was just a natural graduation in their relationship, from friends to best friends to best friends in love. They can't tell you when it ever started, it feels like it has always been there. Their days were built around casual touches and stolen glances. Their nights usually ended up in a tangle of limbs on the touch after falling asleep watching a movie. Then one day when Jim is heading to class, he stops and gives Bones a quick kiss on the cheek.

Jim tried explaining this to Nyota one day and she couldn't really seem to wrap her head around it. Their relationship naturally developed into something neither of them could explain. So when Nyota asked Jim what exactly Bones was to him, he couldn't really give her an answers. Him and Bones had never really had that conversation, so he told her the first thing that came to mind when he thought of Bones. His Bones.

"Mine."


	3. Chapter 3

One day Bones finds a notebook Jim left laying around and his curiosity gets the better of him, so he starts looking through it. Bones is surprised to find a beautifully written story about a guy who is in love with his best friend and doesn't whether or not to act on it because even though he thinks his friend also has feelings for him, he doesn't want to ruin what they already have. Jim comes home later that night and sees his notebook out of place and looks at Bones. He doesn't deny that he read it.

"Damn, Jim didn't know you could write like that."

Something in the soft tone of his voice struck Jim and he couldn't stop himself from crossing the room, taking Bones' face between his hands and planting a gentle kiss on his lips.

"You know what they say Bones - write what you know."


	4. Chapter 4

Some nights Jim cannot stand to be inside anymore. He can't escape the feeling that the walls are starting to close in on him. He doesn't have to go far to feel better so he usually heads to the roof of the dorm and sits for hours on end. He doesn't even know how long he has been up there when he hears the soft footsteps behind him. Bones doesn't say a word as he sits next to Jim and slides his arm around his shoulder and they sit just like that, in perfect silence. Jim doesn't even know how long they sit like that in contented silence before he finally speaks.

"Bones, you gonna just hunt me down and sit with me every time I have a bad night?"

"Always."


	5. Chapter 5

"C'mon, Bones it'll be fun! And we will be able to stay flexible for our, uh, extracurricular activities," Jim stated with a wink and a nod as he set up the yoga mats in the living room. All Bones could do was sigh and agree to whatever nonsense Jim was coming up with today.

As they started going through the basic warm-ups and stretches, Jim couldn't help being slightly distracted by how muscular Bones' legs looked him his shorts. And for the love of God, did the man not own a t-shirt that wasn't too short so it didn't ride up every time Bones stretched a certain way.

Bones noticed Jim's eye kept wandering and he silently chuckled as he went to take the next position, Padangusthasana (Big Toe Pose). Bones was bent over touching his toes, trying to concentrate on his core when suddenly he heard Jim exhale loudly as he frustratingly cried, "Goddammit Bones!"

Bones turned around to see what he was yelling at but he didn't even get all the way around before Jim tackled him onto the mat, quickly removing whatever clothes he could while his lips searched for whatever piece of skin they could find.

Bones couldn't help but laugh at his enthusiasm. "Maybe you're right kid, this could _definitely_ help us stay flexible."


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anonymous tumblr prompt: Ohhhh or bathtub Drabble. Cuddling in a big old fashioned bathtub. Maybe a bubble bath?

Jim takes Bones to some huge fancy beach resort for their anniversary during shore leave. Once they get into their oversized penthouse suite, Jim heads to the bathroom and tells Bones that he has a surprise for him.

After about 15 minutes, Bones tries to figure out what he is up to and puts his ear up to the door and hears Jim softly muttering, “-swear to god, genius level IQ, it should not be this hard.”

Bones slowly opens the door and sees what the assumes is supposed to be a romantic setup with candles - and what looks like an entire of bubble bath poured into the tub. Apparently Jim thought with this level of genius, he did not need to read the plainly stated “use only a capul” instructions printed on the bottle.

Bones stood there for a minute before asking, “Darlin’, what’s going on in here?”

Jim must not have heard him enter because when Bones spoke he jumped a foot in the air and then it took about half a second before embarrassment flooded his face. “It’s supposed to be, uh, romantic.”

"Romantic, huh?" Bones asked softly walking towards him. "I reckon whole thing is about the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me."

Jim’s face flushed darker as Bones wrapped his harms around him. “What can I say? You bring out the best in me.”


	7. Chapter 7

Bones didn't have a lot of traditions growing up, but what he always loved the most was decorating gingerbread houses. Of course Jim being the wonderful man he was, went out of his way to make sure they had all of the supplies so Bones didn't miss one single tradition.

It doesn't take long, however, for Bones to get distracted decorating his because all he can do is watch Jim try to get the hang of it. Eyebrows furrowed in concentration and his tongue sticking out just a bit as he tries to keep his icing lines straight.

He was so into what he was doing, he didn't hear Bones come up behind him. He slowly wrapped his arms around Jim and whispered in his ears, "Hey Jimmy, why don't you let these legendary hands help you with that?"

Jim leaned back into his chest, "You keep whispering in my ear like that, those legendary hands are gonna be helping me with something else."

In the blink of an eye, the gingerbread houses were forgotten as Bones slid his hand slowly down the front of Jim's pants and started teasing his slowly hardening cock. "What, like this?"

Bones enjoyed listening to Jim's breathing start to become erratic and uneven as Bones gently teased his cock until it was fully hard. Jim's moan of pleasure turned into a moan of disbelief as Bones slid his hand out of Jim's pants and smacked him on the ass hard and said, "Now c'mon, you have to finish what you started before we get to play."

Bones is absolutely certain that the murderous glare he was currently receiving from Jim was his interpretation of how Bones looked at him most of the time.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> based on a prompt from tumblr user [groffism](groffism.tumblr.com)

Jim had been acting oddly skittish around him lately, and Bones had   
no idea what the cause of it was. They had been best friends for   
close to 6 years now and he thought he had been able to read every   
mood that had come across, but there was something different now.   
Jim was acting shifty and would barely look Bones in the eye when   
he talked to him. If he didn't know any better, he would think Jim   
was up to something.

He chose to ignore Jim's oddness and instead focused on trying to   
build up some semblence of excitement for his big birthday bash   
that the crew was throwing him this evening. He had told everyone   
that he didn't need anything special, but Nyota had insisted that   
they all just wanted to take the opportunity to relax as a crew and   
Bones' birthday was just a good excuse to do it. He finally stopped   
grumbling when Nyota promised there would be no singing and no   
cake. He's still a doctor, dammit, don't they know how bad all that   
sugar is?

It was a nice, quiet affair and Bones hated to admit that he had a   
great time relaxing and sipping on the good Kentucky Bourbon that   
Scotty had gotten just for the occasion. It was getting late,   
however, and his age was starting to catch up with him so he set   
out to say good evening for everyone.

"Wait," Nyota claimed in protest, "you can't go yet! Jim hasn't   
given you his present yet."

Bones looked over at Jim who looked like he was about to either   
faint or pass out.

"Yeah, yeah. That's right. Um, just hold on a second. I'll be right   
back." Jim stood up and went to get something out of the hallway   
and Bones thought it must be the bourbon that was making him   
imagine Jim's shaking hands. He was surprised when Jim came back   
into the room holding his guitar. Bones had never told him this,   
but his favorite memories from the Academy had been just hanging   
out in his dorm with his best friend, a bottle of whiskey and Jim   
playing the guitar, singing every song he knew. He also would never   
admit that he often went to bed that night and masturbated thinking   
of Jim strumming him the way he strummed that guitar.

"Okay, yeah," Jim cleared his throat nervously, "so, this might   
come as a shock to you guys but this is something I have wanted to   
do for years but have never got the nerve to do it. And Nyota told   
me if I didn't do it soon then she would. So...yeah. Happy   
birthday, Bones."

Bones just sat there confused to what exactly what was going on, then Jim started to play.

_I can't believe you're here with me_   
_And now it seems my world's complete_   
_And I never want this moment to end_   
_I close my eyes and still I see_   
_My dreams become reality_   
_And now I know how it feels to be in love_   
_I prayed so many nights that you would come my way_   
_An angel from above to light my darkest day_   
_I think it's time for you to hear these lines_   
_'Cos there's something I want to say_

Bones couldn't move a muscle, even if he wanted to. Surely, this couldn't actually be happening? What he had dreamed about for almost 6 years? Jim looked down the entire verse so Bones couldn't tell for sure by looking in his eyes, but when he started playing the chorus he lifted those baby blues and looked straight at him. And in an instant, he knew.

_I finally found what I've been looking for_   
_And now you know I'm going to love you more_   
_Hold me tight 'cos it's always been you_   
_(It's always been you)_   
_To think that you were always there (always there)_   
_To be my friend and wipe away my tears_   
_Now it's clear that it's always been you_

It took every bit of strength Bones had not to rush up to him right then. As much as he wanted to go him, he wanted to hear the rest of Jim's deepest thoughts and feelings he never had the courage to say.

_Sometimes you don't expect that friends_   
_Can become lovers in the end_   
_Only God knows what the future will bring_   
_So hold me close and don't let go_   
_'Cos this is love boy, don't you know?_   
_And we're gonna be together for eternity_   
_I prayed so many nights that you would come my way_   
_An angel from above to light my darkest day_   
_A love so strong it can't be wrong_   
_It's with you that I belong_

He couldn't take it anymore and he didn't care that the entire senior crew was there watching this unfold. Hell, they probably all knew what was going on before then. Bones reached Jim in three long strides, took Jim's face between those legendary hands and kissed him hard enough to make up for 6 years of longing and want.

They parted and stood there together, foreheads pressed together and arms wrapped around each other's waist. Neither of them know how long they stood there without saying a word, just soaking in the emotions of the evening.

Finally, Jim broke the silence. "It was always you, Bones. Always"

Bones kissed him softly once more on the lips. "Darlin', it's gonna be you for the rest of my life."


	9. Chapter 9

Jim running his mouth just one too many times one day and Bones gets irritated so he shoves him up against the wall, kissing him as hard as he can fucking Jim's mouth with his tongue. Jim swears that Bones has grown an extra set or two of hands because suddenly all of his clothes are gone and he is pretty sure Bones' lips never left his.

Bones, still fully clothed, shoves him back against the bed and reaches in the nightstand for their handcuffs. While Jim is secured against the headboard, Bones finds something to use as a gag.

Jim is already leaking with excitement when Bones straddles him and leans down to whisper in his ear, "maybe this will keep that damn mouth of yours in check while i go put in a couple hours at the clinic."

He dismounts Jim and without a second glance, turns off the lights to the bedroom and goes to work, eagerly planning on what waits for him when he returns.


	10. Chapter 10

"Jim what the fuck is this?" Bones' eyebrow was reaching new heights as his level of irritation at Jim grew.

"You know what? No. Don't answer that." By this point in their relationship, Jim knew when Bones' rants were gonna last for awhile, so he took the opportunity to take a seat while he could.

"I don't want to know why the fuck you think it's a good idea to break out shot glasses while I am trying to study for my finals. Not everyone is like you, kid. Some of us have to study our asses off," Jim started to open his mouth but he was cut off, "and so help me, kid if you tell me you've got an ass I can study I will deck you. But goddamn kid, I know that you've got a gift of a brain but that don't mean we all do."

Jim sat there for a few moments before asking, "You done yet? You good now that you've gotten all that out of your system?"

Taking a deep breath Bones answered, "Actually, yeah I am."

"Okay, good!" Jim was oddly cheerful as he continued setting up shot glasses. "Here's what I'm thinking Bones."

"Oh, God," Bones couldn't help but roll his eyes and dread whatever suggestion he was inevitably agree to.

A few hours later, an empty bottle of Jose Cuervo laid on the floor while Jim and Bones were drunkenly strewn across the couch in a mess of limbs.

"Jimmy, you still awake?" Bones asked.

"Mhmm," Jim's eyes were closed and Bones wasn't entirely sure if his response was an actual answer or one of the little noises he makes while falling asleep.

"Thanks, kid. For distracting me. I know I can get a little high strung sometimes." Bones stretched over and grabbed Jim's hand in his, clumsily brought it to his lips and kissed each finger.

"S'what I'm here for Bonesy. You keep me safe, I keep you sane." Jim's tone was joking but Bones could tell when their eyes met that Jim's words were filled with sincerity, a promise to them both that they would be each other's anchors however long they needed it.


	11. Chapter 11

Their first Christmas together, Bones kind of expects Jim to make a big deal about it but he never does. Sure, he enjoys decorating the tree and wrapping the presents but he doesn't act like an overgrown kid like Bones thought he would. When Christmas morning rolls around, Bones asks him about it.

"You know, as much enthusiasm as you have about all of the mundane tasks that fill up your days, I figured you would be going bonkers over Christmas."

Bones couldn't believe his eyes when Jim started to blush and look away as he shyly answered.

"Growing up how I grew up, Christmas never really meant a whole lot to me. I didn't know the feeling of waking up, filled with happiness of getting what you always wanted. But now, well, I guess since I met you, every day has been like Christmas to me. Every day I wake up and realize I have what I always wanted."

Bones wasn't sure exactly how to respond, so he did the only thing he could think to do. He reached Jim in two strides and pulled him into his arms, places soft kisses along his neck.

"Kid, nothin' ever meant anything before you."


	12. Chapter 12

bones shopping for jim new satin panties and while in the shop, he runs his fingers over the material, picturing jim's cock straining against them while begging on his knees for bones to fuck him. bones shakes the image out of his head, hurries to make his purchase so he can leave and get back to jim.

as he his checking out the sales woman says to him, "i hope she enjoys them," with a wink and a nod. bones turns around with a cheeky grin and replies, "don't worry, _**he**_ will." as a doctor, he really doesn't like seeing people in discomfort, but the scandalized look on the older woman's face was absolutely priceless.


	13. Chapter 13

Bones was spending New Years Eve alone in his dorm, declining Jim’s generous offer to be his wingman for the evening. He could think of better ways to ring in the New Year than watching the man he was so stupidly in love with flirting with every man, woman and alien that he comes in contact with. He was surprised though a minute before the bell dropped when Jim came striding into the room.

"Good, I’m not too late."

"Late for what, Jim?"

Jim’s response was wordless, instead he crossed the room, framing Bones’ head with his hands and placing a soft, gentle kiss on his lips.

"I couldn’t do it, Bones. I couldn’t pretend anymore that you weren’t the one that I wanted to be with, needed to be with. And I’m sorry if this ruins our friends—"

"Jim."

"Yeah?"

"Just shut up and kiss me."


	14. Chapter 14

Bones had never minded being Jim's wing man, but the situation was starting to hit a nerve close to him lately. He was used to Jim flirting his way around the bar, but since he had come to terms with the fact that he was in love with the dumbshit, it hurt a little bit to watch.

One night, it got to be a little too much to take. The more Jim flirting, the more Bones drank and it wasn't long until the floor started to move beneath him and he started seeing double of things. That was his cue to head on out for the night. Jim was doing perfectly fine on his own. He stumbled off of his barstool, settled his tab and started walking towards the door.

"Hey, hey Bonesy! Where are you going? The party is just getting started!"

"I'm going home, Jim. I can't deal with this tonight." Bones tried to talk past him, tried not making eye contact with him, but Jim grabbed him by the arm before he could get out of the door.

"What do you mean? Can't deal with what?"

Bones turned around and stared at him in disbelief. Was he playing dumb or did he not realize how much it hurt him to watch this day after day? He looked in Jim's eyes and all he saw was confusion.

"Jim, just let me go."

"No. I'm not letting you go without telling me what the hell is wrong with you."

"Goddammit, kid!" Bones jerked his arm out of Jim's grasp. He had enough of this bullshit for the night and all he wanted was to go to bed. "Just let me go. Hell, why don't you use that goddamn genuis level IQ of yours to figure out what the hell is wrong with me yourself?"

Bones walked around the streets for a bit to clear his head before going back to his dorm. He opened his door and was shocked to see Jim sitting on his bed.

"what the fuck are you doing here? figures you'd be balls deep in some ditzy blonde right ab--"

Jim had crossed the room to Bones, pressing their lips together effectively swallowing the rest of Bones' sentence. It was a brief, chaste kiss and when they parted, Bones looked at him like he grew another head.

"What the hell was that, kid?"

"That? That was me figuring it out."


	15. Chapter 15

jim nervously asking bones for romantic advice, because new year's eve is approaching fast and he wants to to ring in the new year kissing the person he loves. bones, being the good friend he is, tells him to just tell her how he feels and kiss her - life is too short to be pining over someone. it adds up to too much wasted time. _some day i might take my own advice_ , bones thinks ironically, _instead of pining over jim like a lovelorn school girl._

bones declines jim's new years eve invitation. just because he wants the kid to be happy doesn't mean he has to induce his own misery.  _besides_ he thinks  _i am better off ringing in the new year the way i will be spending most of it - drunk and alone._

at 11:58, their dorm room door flies open and jim walks in, face flushed and breathing heavily like he had just run a marathon.

"back so soon, kid? what did she do, throw a drink in your face when you made your move?"

"she?" jim looked confused at his words. "what do you mean sh - oh! oh, bones, you really have no idea do you?"

the look bones face told jim that no, he did not have any idea and jim didn't have the words to explain it to him so he sat next to bones on the couch, leaned over and gently pressed his lips to bones'. it was a brief kiss and jim pulled back to enjoy the change of emotions across bones' face from shock to confusion to disbelief to the sudden realization that somehow, against all reason, this man that he had grown to love so much may possibly love him too.

"so. it was me all along."

"yeah, bones. it was you - always."


	16. Chapter 16

bones trying to comfort jim when he is sick because jim has been given all the medication he can and is still in pain. it hurts bones to see him like this when there isn't anything he can do.

"booooones. can't you give me anything else to help?"

"sorry, darlin', you know i would if i could. hate seeing you like this."

"well maybe you can do something else to distract me." jim gave what he was hoping was a seductive wink and smirk, but it kind of took away from the meaning when he was too weak to lift his head off of his pillow.

"don't even try that kid."

"okay, fine." jim kirk's legendary pouts were enough to go against even the toughest of toddlers. "if you can't distract me that way, then distract me another way."

so bones slides into bed, pulling jim into his arms, slowly stroking his back in soft, gentle circles and then proceeds to tell him a story. not just any kind of story - a love story, their favorite love story. bones spent almost an hour telling jim when he started having feelings, when he knew he was in love and everything he did to try to hide it both from jim and from himself. he told jim about how desperate he was to cling to their friendship that he didn't even care how much pain he caused himself keeping it all inside.

jim silently listened to bones pour his heart and soul out, not daring to speak because these moments when bones leaves himself so unguarded don't come along very often. at the end of bones' story, jim can't think of the right words to say so instead of ruining this moment, he takes bones' hand in his and gently kisses his fingertips. 

bones gets the message. he always does.


	17. Chapter 17

bones and jim don’t really show each other a large amount of affection. they save their passion for the bedroom generally and their ‘i love you’s’ are always meaningful, but sparse.

but from the very beginning of their relationship, jim has used old romantic movie lines when he has needed to express his feelings to bones and doesn't have the right words.

before their first kiss when they were having an argument, jim looked straight into bones’ eyes and said, “you need kissing, badly. that’s what’s wrong with you. you should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how.” then bones spent the rest of the evening showing bones that he definitely was someone that knew how.

the first time jim told bones he loved him and the words couldn’t quite get off of his tongue, he fell back on jane austen, quietly telling bones, “you have bewitched me, body and soul.”

and when he decided to tell bones that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him, jim simply told him, “when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”


	18. Chapter 18

_"Stop! Please don't! Don't do this!"_

The pleas woke Bones out of a dead sleep, following shortly by a swift kick to the shin. He leaned over to turn on the lamp next to his side of the bed and turned over to look at Jim.

Jim's arms and legs were tangled up in the sheets, his hair plastered to his forehead, sweat pouring down his face. He was thrashing about the bed softly moaning to himself _please don't go_. Bones wasn't sure what exactly he was dreaming about, but it wasn't good.

He knew that it was risky waking someone up from a nightmare, but he couldn't bare to hear Jim's pitiful cries for much longer. Placing a hand on his shoulder, he gently shook him awake.

"Jim. Jim, baby wake up. It's just a dream; everything is okay."

Jim shot up, his eyes wide and full of panic darting around the room trying to get a handle on his surroundings. He looks at Bones like it's a ghost sitting in front of him.

"You're here," Jim said softly.

"Of course I'm here. Why wouldn't I be here."

"Because you left. You said you didn't love me anymore." Jim's voice was quivering and it sounded like he was trying hard not to break down crying.

Bones' heart broke a little bit when he saw the pained look on Jim's face. It made sense now - _please don't go_. And judging by the look on Jim's face, he was still straddling that line between his dream world and reality. Bones didn't know what else to do besides pull Jim into his arms and hold him close.

"No, darlin', I didn't leave you. Never could. Never will." Bones rubbed soothing circles into Jim's back while his breathing started to even.

They sat there like a few minutes before Jim finally broke the silence.

"When you do. Please, just leave. Leave me a note. But don't stay and break it to my face. I couldn't handle it."

Bones pulled back to stare disbelievingly at Jim's face.

"What the hell, Jim? You already planning the end of this?"

Jim just shrugged his shoulders and refused to meet Bones' eyes as he mumbled, "not planning it, just makes sense."

Bones just lifted his eyebrow giving Jim a look that said go on.

"It's just - ugh. Give me a minute, let me figure out how to phrase this." Jim sat there with his head in his hands for a few minutes, collecting this thoughts. "Okay, the thing is you're amazing. You are the best person I have ever known. You're funny and smart and kind and the fucking sexiest man alive. And you deserve so much more than me. So much more than I can give you. I'm selfish and impatient. I'm bitter and I can be cruel sometimes. I'm really jus--."

Bones placed his hand over Jim's mouth before he could finish the assault and beratement of his own character.

"Stop it right now, okay? You know what? You are right. You have a terrible temper and you can be a real dick sometimes. But you are also the most loving and caring person I have ever known. Listen, I know that you haven't had the easiest life in the world," Jim opened his mouth to interject, but Bones held up a finger to keep him quiet, "BUT that isn't an excuse. But you're learnin'. Learnin' how to be better. I may be a grumpy old bastard but as long as you want to be better, then I want you to be better with me. So don't do this, Jim. Don't beat yourself up. If you keep focusing on the negative and every bad possibility, then you're gonna ruin this before it really even starts. You gotta give us a chance, kid. Give yourself a chance."

Jim sat there silently for a few minutes. He didn't know what he did to deserve Bones' love, but he was going to do whatever was in his power to keep it. Instead of coming up with a cheesy or smart ass reply that would undoubtedly ruin the moment, he pulled Bones' hand to his lips, kissing each finger individually.

"Thank you, Bones. I love you so much."

"I love you too, kid. Now let's try and get some sleep."

Bones pulled Jim into his arms and Jim had no trouble falling asleep listening to the beat of his lover's heart.


	19. Chapter 19

After a long shift in the medbay, Bones was heading back to the quarters he shared with Jim looking for a little peace and quiet, and maybe a blowjob if he's lucky.

What he found instead when he entered was Jim sprawled all across the living room floor, PADDs and old dusty books opened to random pages. He stopped and stared for a minute, admiring how sexy Jim looked with his glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose and his brows furrowed in concentration.

"Trying to find the hidden secrets of the world, kid?"

Bones chuckled softly as Jim jumped almost a foot in the air, books and PADDs flying.

"Jesus, you scared the shit out of me."

"I see that. Whatcha working on kid?"

Jim's face flushed deep crimson and he turned his body around to block Bones' view of the books.

"Um...nothing?"

"Nothing, my ass. Lemme see."

As Bones made a a move towards the stack, Jim jumped up, placing his hands on Bones' chest to restrict him from going and further.

"You can't see it, it's a surprise!"

"Surprise for what?"

"For our wedding. Duh."

Bones slowly raised an single incredulous eyebrow.

"Jim, we agreed that we were gonna write our own vows - no poetry or sonnets helpin' you along."

"It's not for my vows. It's for...the rings."

"The rings?"

"Yeah, figured we were gonna wear them the rest of our lives, might as well mean a little more."

Bones stood there for a minute til he nodded his head in agreement.

"Alright kid, whatcha got so far?"

"That's the thing Bones. Um, I'd kind of like it to be a surprise. To you. On our wedding day."

It took a little more for Bones to agree to that, but Jim seemed dead set on it, so he figured he'd let the kid have this one.

A few weeks later on their wedding day, Bones took a moment to himself at the reception to excitedly remove his ring to see what Jim had chosen.

_Ever thine_   
_Ever mine_   
_Ever ours_

Bones didn't realize it only took six words to take his breathe away.

The kid nailed it.


	20. Chapter 20

the first time jim asks is late at night after they are both shining with sweat, their bodies aching from their exhaustive late night activities.

"marry me, bones."

jim's eyes were struggling to to stay open as sleep started to overcome his senses.

"ask me again in the morning when your brain hasn't been liquefied and sucked through your cock."

[[MORE]]

***

the second time was in the back alley behind their favorite bar, the taste of whiskey and beer on their breaths as they stumbled over each other, desperate to get to the feel of skin.

"marry me, bones."

jim's hot breathe against bones' ear was almost enough to made him accept the drunken proposal on the spot.

"goddammit, jim you can't propose to a guy in a back alley with your hand wrapped around his dick."

"why not?"

jim's kisses were sloppy and wet trailing down his neck, stopping briefly to suck a mark on bones' collarbone that was sure to be on display tomorrow.

"afraid that you're just on the right side of happy to say yes, bones?"

"no you infant, i'm afraid that you're so goddamn drunk right now that you'll wake up in the morning to find yourself engaged and wondering how the fuck you let something so stupid happen."

jim let it go for the evening as he dropped to his knees and focused on more productive things he could be doing with his mouth other than arguing with bones.

***

one quiet and cozy evening in their quarters, bones was dancing around the kitchen making their dinner. he turned around, surprised to see him down on one knee with a serious look in his eyes.

"marry me."

bones stood their for a minute staring at him incredulously. the longer he took, the more he could see the fear of rejection in jim's eyes.

"kid, i thought you'd never ask."

i guess it's true what they say.

third time's a charm.


	21. Chapter 21

Bones should have known that Jim had something up his sleeve when came up with the ingenious plan to rent a car to drive from San Francisco to Savannah for the holidays.

They were halfway through their trip driving through the boring, flat stretches of Texas when Jim started stretching his hand to the inside of Bones' thigh. The car swerved on the road a bit when Bones jumped from the sudden contact; Jim slowly stroking from the knee, not quite getting to his crotch before Bones intercepted his wandering hand. T

"What the hell are you doin', Jim?" Bones tried to muster up all the indignation he could.

"I'm bored, Bones! This is boring! Texas is boring! I'm just trying to have fun!" Jim gave him a wink, his eyes gleaming with mischief as he moved his hand back to Bones' thigh.

Bones' grip tightened on the steering wheel, this time not pushing Jim's hand away as it slid up to the zipper of Bones' jeans, Bones lifting his hips slightly to help it along. Jim scooted over to whisper in Bones' ear, "you know, this would be a bit easier if you pulled over the road."

Bones took his advice to heart pulling off the side of the road. Jim was so eager that he had Bones' cock pulled out, mere inches away from his lips before the car was even turned off.

Bones gripped the steering wheel so tight his knuckles turned white as Jim licked a stripe on the underside of his dick starting at the base before looking up to catch Bones' eye, giving him an evil grin and then devouring his cock until the tip hit the back of his throat.

Bones' moans were deep and soft as he tried to keep his facial expression neutral so passerby's wouldn't know what was going on below. Jim's moans were reverberating around his dick and Bones knew it wasn't going to last much longer.

Jim could tell that Bones was close, so he hurried his movements, bobbing his head up and down as fast as he could. Bones concentrated on the feel of his tongue and lips sliding up and down, but it was the sound of Jim slurping loud and wet that made him lose control.

His moans got louder as the threaded his hand through Jim's hair, fucking his mouth until he finally went overboard. Jim licked and sucked him clean, not stopping until Bones forced his head off of his oversensitive dick with a tug of his hair.

Bones sat there for a few minutes catching his breath before cranking the car back up and easing onto the highway once more.

"You know kid, if I didn't know any better I'd say you planned this whole roadtrip for the sole purpose of being able to do that."

Jim's cheeky grin as he stared out of the window was all the confirmation Bones needed.

That was the last time Bones ever let Jim plan their holiday.


	22. Chapter 22

"i don't know why the hell you are asking me about it. you're the captain - it's your call."

"i'm asking you because, despite what you think, your opinion matters to me."

jim and bones layed in bed on their sides facing each other, their fingers intertwined as they discussed the pros and cons of revealing their relationship to the rest of the crew.

"we're gonna have to do it at some point and you know it." bones was trying to make jim see the logic in the situation. jim was worried about what everyone else though, which was stupid. hell, he wouldn't be surprised if most, if not everyone, had already guessed their relationship status.

but he understood where jim was coming from. he didn't want his authority to be undermined. bones' point was that they were both senior officers operating at different points on the ship. it wasn't like bones was a senior officer on the bridge - the medbay was a completely different animal.

they talked late into the night, bones mumbling reassurances to jim that everything will work out for the better until they fell asleep completely exhausted wrapped in each other's arms.

***

what seemed like an impossibly short time later, jim bolted awake with a start scrambling for the alarm clock.

"shit! i'm gonna be fucking late to the bridge. what a fucking awesome way to start my day."

scrambling to locate all of his uniform that had been strewn about bones' quarters as he entered last night, he got dressed hurridley, placing a kiss on bones' forehead before rushing to the bridge.

he was too tired to notice the stares and snickering from the crew as he appeared on the bridge. he didn't notice anything was different until spock greeted him, announcing, "doctor on the bridge."

"doc-commander, what are you talking about?" jim's genuine ignorance at the current situation was too much for the crew to handle this early in the morning and everyone burst out into laughter.

"i do not understand what everyone is laughing at. i was merely acknowledging the proper rank accoring to the uniform you are wearing issues by starfleet itself."

spock's words made jim look down and realized that in all of his worry about being late, he didn't look twice at who's shirt he grabbed and he was standing in the middle of the bridge in front of the majority of his crew - dressed in bones' science blues.

his face flushed crimson from the embarrassment until uhura speaks up to put him out of his misery.

"captain, if it is any consolation, no one here is completely surprised at your choice of uniform this morning." she said it with a reassuring wink and a smile, letting jim know that the crew has suspected his relationship with leonard for some time now.

there was nothing more he could do for the day so instead of being completely mortified and running away, he decided to grin and bare it, settling in his chair to get his day started. at least it was enough amusement to raise the crew's morale for a bit. it was halfway through the morning though before everyone stopped referring to him as _doctor kirk_.

 _on the bright side,_ jim thought, _we don't have to go through the awkward conversation with the crew about our relationship now._


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> because [shannon](slashsailing.tumblr.com) and i both saw [this post](http://wilwheaton.co.vu/post/72879655841/tom-sits-like-a-whore-reasons-to-date-me-no) and it screamed  _mckirk_

bones was trying like hell to cram for this exam that he had in the morning, but jim was all but fucking determined to distract him. he had been rambling on for close to twenty minutes about god know's what. didn't he see that bones was actually trying to study here?

and under no circumstance would he look up. if he looked up he was doomed. ever since their drunken "accident" a few nights before, he couldn't look at jim without imagining him naked, writhing beneath him. he couldn't stop picturing how his hands looked grasping the headboard for support as bones pounded into him. he couldn't look at his lips without remembering how pretty they were stretched around his cock.  
jim's finger's annoyingly snapping directly in bones' face broke his temporary reverie.

"what the fuck, jim?"

"have you listened to a damn word i've been saying?"

bones just stared at him like he had grown a third head.

"no, you shithead! i've been trying to study here! some of us have exams first thing in the morning!"

"don't be such a drama queen. i have exams too but there are more important things to be discussed right now."

"important things. right. like what?"

"like us."

bones could feel the air leave the room at those two simple words. us. he was almost afraid to ask what jim meant by us. did he want to talk about taking whatever it was further? or was he wanting to talk about how he hoped the monumental screwup didn't effect their friendship? considering the fact that the space next to bones' was cold and empty when he had woken up the next morning, he was leaning towards the latter.

"oh my god! i have been sitting here talking for almost half an hour and you haven't even been listening!" jim looked highly offended that this.

"i'm sorry, i'm just stressed about exams. what were you saying?"

bones tried his hardest to actually look apologetic, but it wasn't his fault he couldn't concentrate on jim's words.

_does this asshole not realize what he is doing to me in those flannel pants that are sitting way too low on his hips and that damn shirt that is way too tight stretched across his chest. not to mention the thick black rimmed glasses that he keeps pushing up in indignation. and for the love of god, can someone get him a damn brush? does his hair have to fly everywhere like there's always someone standing right beside him, blowing a fan towards him like he's at a damn photshoot?_   
_bones shook his head, erasing the impure thoughts of his best friend from his mind. he had to concentrate on this. this was important - the future of their entire relationship hangs in the balance and bones can't stop daydreaming like a damn sixteen year old girl._

jim furrowed his brows in what had to be a gross mimic of bones' usual expression and his face was nothing but business as he turned table chair around to sit and face bones.

"this has been keeping me up every night. i wrote a list. A LIST!" jim emphasized his point by waving a piece of paper inches away from bones' face.

"i see that. what the hell is the list?"

jim stopped shaking it enough to see jim's chicken scratch that he tried to pass of as handwriting and the title, written in large print REASONS **WHY LEONARD H. MCCOY SHOULD COME TO HIS SENSES AND DATE ME.**

bones raised a single skeptical eyebrow at jim as he began to read the list.

  1. i am awesome in bed (which you already know)
  2. i have a major oral fixation (which you also already know)
  3. i pretty much let you boss me around and yell at me for whatever
  4. pants are not required in my presence
  5. actually, clothing isn't required in my presence
  6. i'm always ready to make out
  7. sex whenever you want it
  8. any argument i do not win i am prepared to end with a blow job
  9. i will cook you dinner (and try really hard to make it edible)
  10. okay scratch that, i will buy you dinner
  11. we can just hang around and watch movie marathons and stuff like that
  12. but warning i will probably not watch the movie and it will end up with your dick in my mouth
  13. you don't have to like hold my hand or anything like that
  14. but maybe cuddle at night?
  15. you can be the big spoon
  16. or i can be. it doesn't have to be settled right now
  17. we can shower together
  18. water conservation is important, okay?
  19. i think you look really sexy when you are yelling at me (which is always)
  20. and i am already in love with you so that's settled then



bones stopped at the last point on the list and reread it probably fifteen times in the span of just a few seconds. _i'm already in love with you._

_well, i'll be damned._

bones looked up to see that jim was trying to remain a neutral expression, but failing miserably. bones could see the worry in his eyes that he was going to get rejected. he had to handle the next step very carefully to protect jim's vulnerable state, but also try not to inflate his enormous ego anymore than it already was.

"just one question." jim nervously straightened up at bones' carefully chosen words. "a concern really. i can agree to these terms if you promise, under no circumstance, you will ever try and cook me dinner."

bones never got around to finishing his late night study session.


	24. Chapter 24

the whole relationship thing was a new and foreign concept to jim. he wasn't sure exactly how to play things - especially out in public. he figures bones would want to keep things private, at least for a bit while they both got adjusted to their new relationship status.

what he wasn't expecting as he entered their favorite bar on a crowded friday night was for bones to reach out and grab him by the front of his shirt, crashing their lips together. jim couldn't be bothered to care about all of their friend's cat-calling and whistling. he could only care about the strong taste of whiskey on bones' tongue as it gently probed his mouth.

when they eventually parted, both of them breathing heavily with their eyes blown wide with desire, jim softly asked him, "you know you just outed us in front of everyone, right?"

bones softly chuckled, pulling jim in for one more brief peck.

"frankly my dear, i don't give a damn."


	25. Chapter 25

he had never seen a sight quite like this before.

bones wasn't sure what he was expecting as he walked into him and jim's quarters after his shift, but what the wasn't expecting was for jim to be waiting for him, slamming him up against the wall as soon as he cleared the door.

he also wasn't expecting jim's choice in wardrobe this particular evening. jim is no stranger to wearing the black satin knickers that jim and bones both enjoy so much, but tonight he has taken it a step further. his outfit of choice for the evening includes a black corset, that has bones wondering who the hell he managed to bribe to tighten it for him, along with fishnet stockings and stilettos that have to be at least a good five inches tall.

bones wasn't contemplating their height for long though as jim tore his lips from the spot he was expertley sucking in the hollow of bones' throat, to whisper in bones' ear, "been thinking 'bout you all day baby. been hard as a rock thinking about wrapping my lips around your cock."

jim's tone had taken on a sultriness that bones had never heard and it required him to take a deep breath before he was able to reply.

"whatever you want, darlin'. it's all yours."

bones was taken back by the speed at which jim dropped to his knees, hurridley unbuttoning bones' pants and sliding them to the ground, along with his briefs.

jim braced his hands against the wall on either side of bones' legs as he got close enough to bones' cock that bones could feel his eyelashes fluttering. jim was breathing hot and heavily against him and bones couldn't help but to gently thrust towards his lips.

jim looked up at bones, his eyes blown wide with desire, maintaining eye contact as he licked a single stripe along the underside of bones' cock. he didn't leave bones waiting long as he took a hand to grasp bones at the base and swallowed his dick in one swift movement, not stopping until the tip hits the back of his throat.

bones grabbed a handful of jim's hair, thrusting wildly into his mouth. the way jim was moaning around bones' cock like it was the greatest thing he had ever had in his mouth was the sexiest thing he'd ever heard and he knew he could come at any minute.

jim was eagerly bobbing up and down on his cock with none of his usual finessee. it was wet and sloppy and perfect. all bones could feel was jim's lips and tongue and the perfect, wet heat of his mouth encasing every inch of him.

jim allowed bones to take over, fucking his face while jim sat there on his knees, eagerly vocalizing his approval at bones' actions at the moment.

bones had the brief thought of goddamn, _he is sucking dick like he needs the money to be able to pay rent this month,_ but the feel of jim's throat making swallowing motions around his cock was all he could take anymore. his gripped tightened as he rode his orgasm, continuing to fuck jim's perfect mouth until he couldn't bare the sensations for one more second. he gently tugged and jim got the hint, gingerly removing bones' cock from his mouth.

bones stood there against the wall, unable to move. hell, he wasn't sure how the hell he was still fucking standing after that. he was barely cognizant as jim pressed his lips to bones', sliding his tongue in to let bones' taste himself. bones' tried to deepen the kiss, but jim pulled away.

"you always were a fucking tease, kid."

jim didn't say anything, just pulled bones' from against the wall, walking him backwards to their bed. he pushed him backwards and crawled up his body til he was straddling his chest.

he leaned down and whispered in bones' ear, "no more being a tease. i'm gonna fuck you so hard that you'll end up hoarse from screaming and unable to sit for a week without being able to still feel where my dick has been ramming into you."

and as usual, jim lived up to his promises.


	26. Chapter 26

it's a little awkward for bones sharing a dorm room with jim when he's got feelings for the kid. of course, jim has feelings for him as well, but neither one of them are aware of the other's feelings.

that all changes one night when bones comes home a little bit early and hears the unmistakable sound of jim moaning in his bedroom like a wanton whore. his door is cracked just a bit and bones can't help but take a sneak peak. he isn't prepared for how utterly devine the sight is before him. jim writhing on the bed with his eyes screwed shut slowly stroking his cock, thrusting into his hand softly moaning oh god bones, harder i need more.

bones doesn't want to invade his privacy but his feet are glued to the floor and he couldn't move even if he wanted to. so he watches jim tease himself, slowly bringing himself to the brink of orgasm and then stopping to delay his satisfaction for a bit longer. this goes on for almost half an hour til bones sees jim start to lose his rhythmn, sloppily fucking his own hand. his breathing speeds up and he starts moaning bones, oh god bones as he comes in spurts across his chest.

it's the sexiest thing bones has ever seen and he comes on the spot in his pants without ever laying a finger on himself. jim just lays there for a few minutes with his arm across his face catching his breath, so bones uses the opportunity to run to his room and clean himself up, hoping jim didn't see him.

***

a few days later bones comes home again after his shift and hears jim moaning his name in his room again. it had been a long day for bones and he had stopped to have a couple drinks before he came home which always makes him frisky. the sound of jim moaning his name makes his cock twitch and soon he's so hard, it hurts. after watching jim for a few minutes he decides to take matters in his own hand, marching in there and slowly kneeling on the edge of jim's bed. jim's eyes fly wide open and he starts to protest and move away, but bones just lays a gentle hand on his leg to stop him.

"jim, it's okay, i gotcha."

bones slowly slides his hand towards jim's twitching cock, stopping before he reaches his destination.

"tell me this is okay. tell me this is what you want. "

jim slowly nods at him

"i need you to tell me, darlin. tell me you don't want me to stop."

it took jim a few minutes before the words came to him, "oh god bones you gotta touch me before i die, please."

leonard's southern manners always taught him to reward good behavior so when jim moaned please, bones got off the bed and slowly stripped for jim neither of them breaking eye contact, just drinking in the sight of each other naked and wanting.

jim leaned up to touch bones but he grabbed jim's wrist to stop him.

"not right now, not this time. this time it's just for you. "

bones grabbed jim at the back of the thighs as he settled on the bed, pulling jim towards him with his legs in the air so his ass came off the bed a bit.

as bones reached over on the nightstand to grab jim's lube he asked him, "how long have you wanted this? how long have you been in here making yourself come thinking about me fucking you?"

jim started to answer but was stopped short when he felt a slick finger start rubbing against his hole. bones teased his entrance for a few minutes before stopping and stretching out on the bed on his stomach.

"how long jim? "

"since you handed me that goddamn flask."

bones didn't know how to respond to that so instead he moved his head in, gently flicking his tongue against jims wet hole, enjoying the sudden mewls and moans he was making. bones snaked his arms around to hold jim at the hips as he gently slid his tongue in and out of jim, making it so he couldn't roll his hips against leonard's face to get more friction.

bones teased for a few minutes, listening to jim's soft sighs and quiet moans until he had to have more. he had to have jim completely. jim made a desperate whine when bones' tongue left him but it was soon replaced by one finger, then two, expertly preparing him for leonard's dick.

"now, now, now! goddammit i'm ready, just fuck me! "

of course jim kirk was just as demanding in bed as he was in every other facet of his life. bones quickly slicked his cock before lining himself up, slowly sinking into jim.

after he was fully seated, it was a few minutes before bones could move, afraid of coming before he could really fuck jim. but jim knew he was only hanging on by a thread and was clenching around bones' cock, trying to get him to come without barely moving.

jim ran his fingers through leonards hair, bringing his head down to moan in his ear, "i dream about your cock inside me, filling me up, we've got all night so quit being a goddamn tease."

something snapped inside bones at those words and he couldn't hold on much longer. he started to slide in and out of jim in a messy rhythm, jim's cock trapped between their bodies.

jim's lips were still at leonards ear when he started moaning "oh god bones i'm gonna come." he gently nibbled on bones' ear, whining and mewling like a common whore til. bones could feel jim start to clench around him again and that's all it took to push leonard off the edge. he came with a sudden thrust and collapsed onto jim.

they layed in each others arms like that for a few minutes. jim took his fingers to make circular patterns across bones' back why they caught their breath.

a few minutes passed and bones gently slid out of jim, both of them cringing at the sensation and the loss. they layed side by side running their fingers across each others bodies, both of them unsure what to say next. jim was the first to finally speak up.

"so, was this just a one time thing or--"

bones cut him off with a laugh and a quick press of his lips on jim's.

"don't be an infant"


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> for [vickie](boneslegendaryhands.tumblr.com)

They had been dancing around each other for what seemed like ages, but Bones couldn't take it for one more second. What was the point of being desperately in love with each other if you weren't gonna do a damn thing about it.

Late one night when Jim comes home, Bones is waiting for him.

"Sit down, kid. We need to talk."

Jim shifts nervously at the serious look on Bones' face.

"We can't do this anymore, Jim. I'm too old to play this damn game. I love you," Jim tried to walk out of the room but Bones was too quick for him, jumping up and grabbing his arm, "and I know you love me too. So don't start any of your shit with me."

"You don't really love me, Bones. I'm too much of a fuck up. You might love the idea of me, but you don't really love me." Jim couldn't meet Bones' eyes when he said this, so Bones pretty much assumed everything he was saying was horseshit.

Jim was scared, he could see it in his eyes. Hell, he was scared too. Fucking terrified, actually. But he had to make Jim see that this was a good thing; this wasn't something he needed to run from. This could turn out to be the best thing the both of them would ever have.

Bones pulled Jim into him, wrapping his arms around Jim's chest and resting their foreheads together as he struggled to find the right words.

"Okay, how can I put this so your genuis brain can understand?" A slow grin started to spread across Bones' face as he came up with an idea. "I love thee so, that, maugre all thy pride, nor wit nor reason can my passion hide."

Jim's eyes widened a bit at Bones' words. Leave it to him to exploit Jim's little known weakness for Shakespeare. Small town hick he may be, but he had a great appreciation for literature.

He pulled back a bit so he could grasp Jim's head between his hands. Jim knew the seriousness in Bones' eyes matched the tone of the words he knew were coming next.

"Do not extort thy reasons from this clause, for that I woo, thou therefore hast no cause"

 _He has a point_ , Jim thinks to himself _, there is no reason for Bones to be doing all the work in pursuing me._

"But rather," Bones finished, "reason thus with reason fetter. Love sought is good, but given unsought better."

Jim had about half a second to make a decision. Bones was right - he shouldn't have to beg and ask Jim for his love. And he was stupid for avoiding Bones like he had been. He closed the small gap between them and placed a sweet, chaste kiss on Bones' lips.

"By innocence I swear, and by my youth," Jim smiled a bit at the literal words, "I have one heart, one bosom, and one truth."

"You do know the rest of it is Viola saying that she only has one heart and she won't give it to another women. You trying to send me a message, Jim?" Bones tried to be teasing, but his tone was serious.

"That's why I stopped where I did. Bones," Jim mimicked Bones' earlier gesture, grasping his head between his hands to look steadily into Bones' eyes, "I only have one heart and one love to give - and I freely give it to you."

Bones rolled his eyes at Jim's cheesy sentiment, but the message was loud and clear - there was no running away from this anymore. For either of them.


	28. Chapter 28

bones notices jim's eyes one day keep darting to spock and uhura. finally his curiosity gets the better of him and he turns to see spock and uhura in a deep discussing. on a closer look though, he notices their hands under the table, their fingers resting against each other's. it was, well, _cute_.

he turned back to jim and noticed him slightly flushed with embarrasment.

"you're turning a bit red, there captain. why are you so intent on watching them make out over there?"

"i'm not! it's just. well. the gesture and the intimacy of it. it's _sweet_."

bones didn't think jim's face could get much redder, but apparently he was wrong. he loved seeing the soft, romatic side of him. he slid a little closer to jim so he could interwine their hands, bringing his lips to jim's ear.

"good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this;" bones enjoyed the sight of jim's eyebrow shooting up in surprise.

jim licked his lips at bones' words, before continuing bones' previous endearments, "for saints have hans that pilgrims' hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmer's kiss."

"have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?" bones couldn't help but continue, impessing jim with his hidden shakespeare knowledge.

"ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer." as jim spoke, his eyes were focused solely on bones' lips and it was slightly distracting.

"o, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do; they pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair," bones urged.

"saints do not move, though grant for prayer's sake," jim winked at him teasingly, urging him to continue.

"then move not, while my prayer's effect i take," bones moved back a bit so he could stare in jim's eyes, "thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged."

"then have my lips the sin that they have took," jim's voice was at a mere whisper now, knowing what was to come.

"sin from thy lips? o trespass sweetley urged! give me my sin again." bones leaned in and gently pressed his lips to jim's.

it was meant to be a brief, chaste kiss but jim took his hands, threading them through bones' hair, deepening the kiss. his tongue begging for passage into bones' waiting mouth and when it was granted, they both sighed deeply at the contact.

after a few seconds, bones seemed to remember they were sitting in the senior officer's mess hall and while everyone knew of their relationship, no one really needed to witness this. he begrugingly pulled away from the kiss, placing his lips gently on jim's forehead.

jim sighed at the loss, taking his fingers and tracing bones' lips.

"you kiss by the book."

uhura broke them out of their brief reverie, loudly stating, "captain! your commander craves a word with you!"


	29. Chapter 29

jim loved the thrill of his secret relationship with leonard mccoy. he enjoyed the secret glances and the casual lingering touches. he enjoyed the slow buildup of passion and lust during the day that came out when they got together at night behind closed doors.

what he did not enjoy was not being able to arrange his shore leave at the same time as bones without raising suspicion. they weren't ashamed of their relationship, but at the same time they weren't ready to out themselves to the entire crew either.

but thank technology that helped them pass the time they had apart. bones and jim both enjoyed sending teasing videos and messages to each other during the two weeks leonard was away. bones decided to be especially teasing one particular day, sending a highly explicit video to jim while he was on the bridge one day.

jim's padd went off and when he noticed it was bones, he instantly felt his cock stiffen. he glanced around to make sure no one was close enough to accidently peer over his shoulder before turning the volume down and pressing play.

unfortunately, in jim's eagerness to see bones video he hit the wrong button. instead of muting the volume, he projected the sound to the entire bridge.

_"god baby, miss you so much. its not the same laying here stroking my cock would rather be feeling your lips around it."_

the entire crew stop dead in their tracks, everyone's eyes widening in shock. no one dared to say a word though, as jim's face darkened to the deepest crimson color on the spectrum. no one saw the video, of course, but everyone knew the voice of their CMO. after a couple minutes, a loud couch echoed throughout the space which seemed to snap everyone back to reality. jim turned around to see nyota giving him a reassuring wink.

now came the difficult part. it was going to be easy enough to break it to leonard that the whole crew knew of their relationship. however, jim was going to have to think of an alternative for _how_ they found out or else bones would never be able to face the crew again.


	30. Chapter 30

There were three things Jim loved more than anything in this world. The first, obviously, was Leonard McCoy. The second was abusing his privileges as Captain for private use of the senior officer's facilities. The third, which some days was his most favorite, was breaking the rules.

He wasn't sure why he loved it so much. When he was younger, it was for the thrills and for the joy of saying 'fuck you' to all authorities. Nowadays, though, he thinks it's just because the disapproving crinkle Bones gets between his eyebrows is just so damn sexy.

It was relaxing at the moment though, resting with Bones in the sauna. They didn't get many moments like this that was just them without being in their private quarters. Jim kept staring at Bones while Bones was pointedly keeping his eyes closed. He's been around Jim long enough to know this game. If he opens his eyes, Jim is going to get up to something.

Jim can't resist his dirty thoughts though, the way Bones has his head thrown back and his face relaxed in the first time in who knows how long. Then he sees it. A tiny group of droplets of sweat slowly dripping down the long column of Bones' throat. Jim swallowed hard and before he realized what he was doing, he leaned over to lick his way up Bones' neck, moaning softly at the sweet and salty taste.

Bones' eyes flew open as he felt Jim's tongue move up his neck.

"Goddammit, Jim! What the hell are you doing?"

"I couldn't help it. You're just so...irresistible."

"And you are fucking incorrigible, kid. Not here." Bones tried to be adamant, but his resolve weakened as Jim dropped to his knees in front of Bones, slowly opening his towel up.

"How about this - you just say the words and I will stop at anytime."

Bones' swallowed hard as Jim starts licking a line from his knee up the inside of his thigh, stopping short of Bones' quickly hardening cock to nuzzle a soft spot on the inside of his thigh, gently nipping at it with his teeth.

Bones jumped at the bite and before he knew what he was doing, he threaded his hand in Jim's hair, slowly thrusting until finally he could feel Jim's lips touching the tip of his cock. He slowly opened his eyes to see Jim smirking at him before deep throating his cock in one motion. As soon as he feels his cock hit the back of Jim's throat it takes every inch of willpower he possesses not to come on the spot.

Jim was moaning loudly around Bones' cock; desperately licking and sucking like he'll never get the chance again. It wasn't the most skilled blow job he had ever given, but it was fast and hot and wet and absolutely perfect. With the combination of the heat of the sauna and the wet heat of Jim's mouth, it wasn't too long before Bones neared his orgasm. Jim's moans got louder as Bones started wildly thrusting into his mouth before coming hard.

Bones was breathing heavily, his chest heaving up and down while Jim licked him clean.

"You're like a goddamn puppy."

Jim wrested his head against his thigh, grinning up at him.

"Hey, I didn't hear you complaining a few minutes ago."

"Yeah, well I'm a man. I'm not gonna complain while you're sucking my dick like you are a prisoner about to get executed and it's your last meal."

Jim's laughter echoed throughout the sauna as he stood up, reaching for Bones' hand.

"C'mon, let's get back to a bed. I'm not done with your ass today."


	31. Chapter 31

leonard and jim were trying to keep their argument in hushed whispers, but jim was being particularly stupid and bones couldn't keep quiet much longer.

"no, that does _not_ make it okay!"

"oh my _god_ , can't you guys just kiss and make up or something and stop this ridiculous arguing?" uhura's obvious exasperation brings their argument to a grinding halt.

jaws dropping and eyes widening simultaneously, bones and jim furiously started denying uhura's accusations.

the bridge crew starts laughing because their relationship is the most obvious thing in the entire world and they are usually nice by not bringing it up.

uhura is enjoying their obvious discomfort at being outed without notice, softly laughing while she turns to scotty saying, "me thinks they doth protest too much."


	32. Chapter 32

Jim was a goddamn flirt when he was drunk and Bones absolutely loved it. Even in the bar on a crowded Friday night, Jim seemed to still only have eyes for him.

He had gone to the bathroom and Bones didn't hear him come back until Jim was directly behind him wrapping an arm around Bones' chest, his lips brushing Bones' ear.

“Come woo me, woo me, for I am in a holiday humour and like enough to consent.” Jim's tongue darted out to taste the salty sweat on the back of Bones' ear and he shivered at the contact.

He also forgot how much of a show-off Jim was when he was drunk, more so than usual. The kid was a genius and he damn well knew it. He also knew that Bones had an extreme weakness for softly whispered Shakespeare and he was trying to work Bones from every angle.

Bones rolled his eyes, and tried to shrug off Jim's flirtatious attempts.

“O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?” Jim's mouth was open and his eyebrows raised his eyebrows in mock disappointment.

"You're a goddamn menace, you know that? You're lucky I love you." They both stopped still at those three little words - words that neither of them had uttered before.

Bones was debating on trying to pass it off as a drunken mistake, but Jim spoke up first.

“I pray you, do not fall in love with me, For I am falser than vows made in wine." His voice was low and serious. It was his warning to Bones. _This is what I am. You know my reputation. This can only end badly._

"S'little too late for that, ain't it kid?" Even though Bones was slurring, his words were sincere. "It is what it is - ain't no backing out now."

Jim leaned in to give him a soft kiss on the forehead.

"No, guess not."

_I love you too._


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.” - Neil Gaiman_

Bones found Jim sitting alone at the bar. Figured the kid would come here. He seemed scared out of his wits so logically, he would run to the only place that felt comfortable to him right now.

"Jim, it's 11 o'clock in the morning on a Tuesday. You're gonna start to get a reputation if you keep this up."

"Don't care," Jim spat at him.

"Okay, I was gonna be nice about this, but you've ruined it. What the fuck is wrong with you?" Bones was kind of concerned for his best friend, but mostly pissed off at this moment.

But his anger quickly dissolved to pure concern as he saw the frustration build up on Jim's face.

"Jim, what the hell is it man? What could possibly have you this angry? What in the world could have you drunk at 11 in the goddamn morning?" Bones tried to cut his anger with a softer tone, but according to the side-eye glare coming from Jim, he did not succeed.

"Fuck. Okay, here it goes." Jim took a deep breath to steady himself. "I'm in love. Or at least, I think I am. I'm pretty fucking sure I am."

"Love? Really? That's what has gotten you all twisted up like this?" Bones slightly mocked him.

"Fucking love. Yeah. The shittiest thing there is," Jim spat out bitterly as he took another drink.

"It can be, yeah. But you're just thinking about the bad parts," Bones countered.

"What is good about it? It's a toxic chemical. A poison that creeps into your blood and your vital organs, shutting down your ability to do anything. It makes you vulerable and open to heartache and pain. It turns good people into heartless and cruel monsters. Hell, it drove you to fucking Starfleet!" Jim was motioning about wildly with his hands, trying to emphasize the ridiculousness of the concept of love.

"You're right - it can be all of those things. It can be scary as hell but also the best thing in the world. Even in the best relationships, you still have to work at it. But when you find the absolute, right person for you, working at it don't seem so hard."

"If you say so," Jim couldn't help but roll his eyes at Bones' passionate display.

"You know what? Fine. If you want to sit there and be miserable and alone, then I'll fucking let you. You're just scared is all but you don't have any good reason to be scared."

The scrape of the bar stool against the dirty floor was deafening as Bones got up to leave. Without realizing what he was doing at the time, Jim grabbed his hand before he could walk away. Bones stopped, noticing Jim's hand was shaking a bit as it held him still.

"What if I did have a good reason to be scared?" Jim wouldn't look Bones in the eye as he spoke slowly.

"Go on," Bones urged.

"What if I was in love with my best friend? What if telling him fucked everything up? I can't--," Jim's voice broke with emotion as he choked on the words he was determined to get out, "I can't lose him."

Bones stood there for a moment, silently digesting everything Jim had just revealed.

"Maybe you wouldn't lose anything at all." Bones emphasizing his point by intertwining his fingers with Jim's. "I mean, things wouldn't be the same but you would gain something so much better. Dontcha think?"

Jim's words came out a little uneven has he answered.

"Yeah. Maybe so."


	34. Chapter 34

bones as a struggling med student waiting tables to help make ends meet til he graduates. he works the late night shift and there’s this one kid, jim kirk, that always comes in around 1am on the weekends. he always sits by himself in the back corner of bones’ section and orders coffee. nothing else, just coffee. finally after about a month of this, bones can’t help but ask him about it.

"you ever think about coming here for the food sometime?"

and jim just laughs and says, “nah, i just come here for the view,” and gives him a wink as he writes his number down on a napkin for leonard.


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _anonymous prompt: Jim and Bones going and doing karaoke and Jim finds out Bones can sing and finds it incredibly sexy. (I strayed from the prompt a bit, though I stuck with Bones singing karaoke, so....)_

"Oh come on, Bones! Live a little why don't ya!"

Jim's enthusiasm was relentless and slightly contagious. It also helped that Bones was straddling the line between drunk and buzzed fairly hard. 

"Fine, I'll do it. But you don't get to pester me about anything stupid for at least two weeks. You owe me that," Bones replied.

"Deal. I promise. Anything you want, it's yours," Jim was bouncing up and down in his seat in excitement. 

"Anything huh? I definitely might take you up on that later," Bones gave Jim a devious wink.  _Yeah, definitely the right amount of drunk to be doing this_ , he thought to himself.

"Any particular request?"

"Nothing off the top of my head," Jim thought about it for a moment before continuing, "but something that makes you thing of me."

"Oh, of course. God forbid anything be done without a slight stroke to your already over-sized ego," Bones rolled his eyes but his mind was racing with the possibilities. He knew exactly what to do.

He got up to the small stage and whispered his request in the emcee's ear, who then nodded in agreement.

"Alright, ladies and gentlemen! Put your hand together for Leonard!"

The crowd politely applauded, though the cheers were all drowned out by Jim's wolf whistling and lewd cat calls that Bones promptly glared at him for.

_Swear to god, can't take that kid anywhere._

The slow familiar melody started and as Leonard began to sing the words in his smooth bass, it brought Jim back to the night when it all started.

_Wise men say only fools rush in_   
_But I can't help falling in love with you_   
_Shall I stay_   
_Would it be a sin_   
_If I can't help falling in love with you_

It was the song that was playing at the bar on that first awkward date. They had known each other for two years at that point, but actually putting the next step of their relationship in motion was difficult. They tried to make awkward small talk until Elvis filled the room up and Bones asked Jim to dance with him. After that the rest, as they say, was history.

Jim stared up at the stage fondly at his lover, smiling at the song choice.  _If only Bones knew how appropriate that song was for tonight_ , Jim thought as his hand traveled to his front left pocket where a plain gold band had been burning a hole since they left earlier that evening.

Later that evening, as Jim got down on one knee, he would repeat the same words Bones had serenaded him with at the karaoke bar.

_Take my hand, take my whole life too_   
_Cause I can't help falling in love with you_


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> department store au

Jim hated working the day shift during the week; it was boring and more often than not, Jim often found himself getting in trouble because he wasn't staying in his own department. The weekends were always the best time because there was plenty of eye candy perusing the men's department.

About half an hour before his shift ended, it looked like Jim's luck was about to change. He glanced over to see one of the sexiest men he had ever seen in person looking confused at the tie rack. He checked the mirror to make sure he still looked okay before walking up to him.

"Hey, you finding everything alright today?" Jim didn't realize how deep in concentration the man was because he jumped a foot in the air when Jim spoke. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to scare you!"

"Oh, uh. Yeah. Fine. Actually, no. I have a work thing this weekend and I am trying to find a tie that works. Amazing, 30 years old and I have never had a reason to own a tie before."

"If you want, I could make a recommendation for you?" Jim phrased it as a question so he didn't seem like he was coming on too strong.

"Yeah, that'd be great. It's just a plain white shirt and I was coming in to pick up a plain black tie. But I got here and all of these damn choices and now I just don't know."

Jim noticed a small crease forming between the man's eyebrows; from the looks of it, that wasn't the first time this crease has made an appearance.

"Here, what about this one?" Jim pulled a forest green tie out that he would bet would make the stunning stranger's hazel irises shine even brighter. "It would, um, look great with your eyes."

Both men turned slightly red at the sudden compliment.

"Yeah, the green looks great. I'll go with that."

"Alright, is there anything else I can help you with?" Jim asked hopefully.

"No, I think that's all. Thanks, I appreciate it."

"Not a problem," Jim replied, waving slightly as the handsome stranger walked away. He turned to walk back to his previous task wondering why he couldn't have just asked the guy for his damn number like a normal person instead of stammering and stuttering like an idiot.

"Hey, kid!"

Jim turned around at the slow southern drawl so fast he almost got whiplash.

"Yeah?"

"What's your name?"

"My-my name?" Jim stuttered over the stupid question and he could feel the color returning to his face.

"Yeah, I didn't see you wearing a name tag. You know this place always asks who helped you out. For, uh, commission."

"Oh, right. Of course," Jim's stomach dropped a bit in disappointment as he answered him. "Kirk. My name is Jim Kirk. Jim, actually. My first name. You really have no reason to have my last name." Oh god, Jim actually could not shut up at this point.

As his new favorite customer walked away for the second time, Jim tried to spy behind the racks as he was getting rung up. After he walked out of the door, he ran to the register.

"Gaila, how did he pay?" Jim seemed a bit frantic at this point.

"What?" Gaila was confused at the sudden questioning.

"The man that just left. Did he pay with a credit card? Do you have the slip?" Jim realized he seemed desperate at this point, but to be honest - he was.

"Yeah, hold on just a second. I had already filed it in my folder and I don't keep it in order." Gaila turned her back to Jim so he didn't see the irritated look he was giving her.

Jim's foot was tapping impatiently and he was so wrapped up that it was him, this time, that didn't hear the footsteps come up behind him.

"It's McCoy. Leonard McCoy."

Jim and Gaila both jumped and straightened up at the man's return. Leonard met Jim's eyes with an easy smile.

"I, uh, got out to my card and remembered I didn't thank you for helping me out."

 _Yes he did,_ Jim thought.

"Yeah, actually you did but thanks for coming back to thank me again," Jim couldn't believe his stupidity. Why couldn't he speak like a normal person?

"Okay, yeah I did. I was hoping you wouldn't remember," Leonard laughed it off as he continued, "Okay, maybe I had another reason for coming back in here. I wanted to give you this." He slid a card into Jim's hands and then with a wink and a soft smile, turned to leave the store for a final time.

"Oh, my God! What is it?" Gaila was practically bouncing up and down with excitement.

"Holy shit! It's his number!" Jim was slightly in shock.

"I see something else! What did he write?" Gaila tried looking over Jim's shoulder to no avail.

Jim's smile widened even more as he turned the card over to show Gaila:

_I got to thinkin', this tie would look better on a date with a good lookin' man rather than at a stuffy business dinner. Interested?_

Jim pocketed the card as he whistled back to the break room, practically skipping the whole way.

Interested indeed.


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Marie [[urbansexuals](http://tmblr.co/m8GwmqpVuueK6nh54rmVFMQ)], based on [her drawing](http://wilwheaton.co.vu/post/73457046125/urbansexuals-i-cant-seem-to-refuse-hillary)
> 
> The story of how Jim got that absurd tattoo

"No, but Bones. Leonard. Baby. Wait - what was I talking about?" Jim's words were coming out slightly slurred as he finished off what was left of his fourth - maybe fifth - Jack and Coke.

"Blow jobs, Jim. You won't shut the fuck up about sucking my goddamn dick," Bones rubbed the ever present cluster of lines that have taken up permanent residence between his eyes since the day he met Jim Kirk.

"Oh, God that's right. Blow jobs. Have I told you lately how much I love how your cock feels in my mouth?"

"You haven't shut the fuck up about it for almost 45 minutes. You should get it tattooed across your goddamn chest so everyone knows about it that way you don't have to keep bringing it up."

"You're a fucking genius. That is brilliant! One of those pretty banners across my chest and if you're lucky, I'll let you straddle my chest and come all over it," Jim hand started slowly running up the inside of Bones' thigh underneath the table.

Jim was frisky as hell when he got drunk and Bones would never admit how much he loved it.

"You are such a goddamn slut," Bones was trying to distract him so he didn't have to drag him to the bathroom and throw him on his knees. Again. But damn, he was so pretty whining and begging for Bones' cock.

"I am not a slut! I am offended by that statement," Jim pouted.

"Get that tattooed on you, while you're at it. Maybe on your lower back so I can get a reminder of it when you are screaming for me to fuck you harder." Bones threw Jim a flirtatious wink before he finished the last of his bourbon. He stood and signaled to their waiter that they would be right back as he grabbed Jim by the hand, dragging him out the back exit to the narrow alley behind.

*****

Jim woke up groggily the next morning, the bright morning sun killing his head.

"Oh my fuck, did I drink the entire goddamn bar?" Jim moaned, holding his hands over his eyes to block the offending light.

"Just about. Then again, you always were a damn lightweight," Bones countered.

"I can drink more than you old man," Jim sleepily replied. He started to stretch his arms above his head and felt an ache on his chest. "Jesus. What the fuck happened last night? Did I decide to chest bump a brick wall?"

He slowly removed his shirt to reveal a beautifully done banner tattoo reading 'BLOWJOBS' in large print. Bones stared at it before a beat before bursting out into hysterical laughter.

"Dear God we must have both been absolutely smashed to pieces because I don't remember you going to get this at all. Shit, I would like to think I tried to talk you out of it," Bones was choking with laughter as he brought his hands up to wipe the tears from his eyes.

"Fuck. How am I this goddamn stupid?" Bones started to open his mouth before Jim spat at him, "Don't answer that. You can fix this right? This can be removed?"

Bones took a moment to examine the tattoo and what kind of ink it was. Yeah, this would be easy enough for him to fix. He could visibly see the tension leaving his shoulders as he assured Jim that it wouldn't be a problem.

"I'm going to go get a better look at this," Jim gingerly got out of bed, noticing his lower back was aching the same way his chest was.

 _Surely not,_ Jim thought _. I know I am not this fucking stupid._

He closed the door to be able to examine his back in the full length mirror on the back of the door. _Yup_. He was that fucking stupid.Jim slowly walked out of the bathroom, his eyes widened in horror.

"I know, it's atrocious isn't it? Luckily since it's fresh enough I should be able to--"

"No. There's more."

"More? More what?"

Jim slowly turned around to reveal the other hidden surprise of his drunken shenanigans the evening before.

"Holy shit, Jim. Wait, is that Shakespeare?" Bones couldn't help but laughing at this new discovery. He walked over to run his fingers tenderly over the words _I am not a slut, though I thank the gods I am foul._ "You know, you did say that you were gonna get that tattooed on you, that you weren't a slut. Leave it to you to be so poetic about it too."

"Shut up. This is SO the opposite of funny right now!" Jim kept getting louder the angrier he got.

"Shh, baby it's okay. I told you this shouldn't be a problem removing. It'll take a few sessions to get it all the way off but I promise you, you're secret is safe with me," Bones reassured him.

"Leonard, so help me if anyone ever finds out about this," Jim threatened.

"Are you kidding? And let everyone in on the horribly kept secret that you are, in fact, a slut for my cock? Never," Bones gave his ass a soft squeeze as he padded to the living room to get his medkit.

Jim couldn't help but laugh at the absurity of the situation. At least he was lucky enough to have Bones take care of him no matter what.


	38. Chapter 38

Jim and Bones sat on the edge of the dock behind the McCoy ranch in Savannah. It was a beautiful fall evening and they were enjoying having a few minutes to themselves.

"I can't actually believe it's almost here," Jim was amazed. He was convinced after he proposed that one day Bones was going to wake up and wonder what the hell he was doing and break it off.

"Maybe now you'll stop waitin' for me to run off," Bones seemed to read his mind as he reached across the gap between him grabbing Jim's hand. "Crazy, ain't it?"

"Yeah. Crazy," Jim repeated as he brought Bones' fingertips up to his lips, kissing them tenderly.

Bone smiled at the slight gesture.

"That's how it all started it. A kiss," Bones clarified at Jim's confused look.

"Ah, yes. That amazing goodnight kiss," Jim replied.

"Goodnight kiss? It was the _beginning_ of the night! We were supposed to meet everyone at the bar and you had be thrown up against the wall before I knew what was happening," Bones teased.

"I blame those damn jeans. You looked way too good in them. Besides, I called everyone and told them there was an emergency and we weren't going to be able to make it that night," Jim countered.

"I didn't realize scientific experiments reguarding our refractory periods constituted an 'emergency'." Bones smiled fondly as his thoughts brought him back to that fateful night.

"Oh come on, could you blame me? I lit that little spark and got you going - no way either of us were leaving that night. Anways, I don't remember you complaining," Jim retorted.

"That' true. I wasn't complaining then and I'm sure as hell not complainin' now. Got you right where I want you." Bones squeezed Jim's hand, hoping he could feel the love and warmth that was surging through Bones' body at the moment.

"No, tomorrow I'll have you right where I want you," Jim replied as he returned Bones' loving squeeze.

"Forever and ever," Bones whispered, leaned over til his face was mere inches away from Jim's

"Amen," Jim finished as he closed the gap between their lips.


	39. Chapter 39

Jim and Bones sat on the edge of the dock behind the McCoy ranch in Savannah. It was a beautiful fall evening and they were enjoying having a few minutes to themselves.

"I can't actually believe it's almost here," Jim was amazed. He was convinced after he proposed that one day Bones was going to wake up and wonder what the hell he was doing and break it off.

"Maybe now you'll stop waitin' for me to run off," Bones seemed to read his mind as he reached across the gap between him grabbing Jim's hand. "Crazy, ain't it?"

"Yeah. Crazy," Jim repeated as he brought Bones' fingertips up to his lips, kissing them tenderly.

Bone smiled at the slight gesture.

"That's how it all started it. A kiss," Bones clarified at Jim's confused look.

"Ah, yes. That amazing goodnight kiss," Jim replied.

"Goodnight kiss? It was the _beginning_ of the night! We were supposed to meet everyone at the bar and you had be thrown up against the wall before I knew what was happening," Bones teased.

"I blame those damn jeans. You looked way too good in them. Besides, I called everyone and told them there was an emergency and we weren't going to be able to make it that night," Jim countered.

"I didn't realize scientific experiments reguarding our refractory periods constituted an 'emergency'." Bones smiled fondly as his thoughts brought him back to that fateful night.

"Oh come on, could you blame me? I lit that little spark and got you going - no way either of us were leaving that night. Anways, I don't remember you complaining," Jim retorted.

"That' true. I wasn't complaining then and I'm sure as hell not complainin' now. Got you right where I want you." Bones squeezed Jim's hand, hoping he could feel the love and warmth that was surging through Bones' body at the moment.

"No, tomorrow I'll have you right where I want you," Jim replied as he returned Bones' loving squeeze.

"Forever and ever," Bones whispered, leaned over til his face was mere inches away from Jim's

"Amen," Jim finished as he closed the gap between their lips.


	40. Chapter 40

_Why?_

It was a question that passed through Leonard's mind often.

_Why that goddamn shuttle?_

_Why could Jim Kirk not leave him the hell alone?_

_Why did Leonard not want him to?_

_Why could he not leave Jim behind when he got his assignment to the Enterprise?_

_Why was Starfleet crazy enough to allow an inexperienced CMO serve alongside an even more inexperienced Captain?_

_Why did Jim insist on them taking shore leave together?_

And _why the hell_ couldn't the kid be blessed with perfect vision to go along with every other perfect quality his body possessed?

Bones didn't get distracted easily, but somehow it was easily for him to get sidetracked by Jim Kirk. It was hard enough for him to concentrate when they were on duty, but on shore leave things got even worse.

Being off duty for two weeks meant that Jim got to wear his favorite jeans that were faded in all the right places. It means he got to grow his beard around and not have to bother putting his contacts.

For Bones, that meant two weeks of trying not to stare at Jim constantly. The deadly combination of his slight scruff and the thick black rimmed frames that he had insisted on had made Jim impossibly sexier than before.

*****

Somehow though, Leonard managed to make it almost the entire time without making an ass out of himself. It was their last night on the diamond planet filled with impossibly beautiful beaches and Jim wanted to go out to celebrate.

"C'mon Bones, it'll be fun!" Jim cheerfully said.

"You know when you say that, eleven times out of ten it is never fun," Bones shot back.

"It's our last night. It'll be great - drinks and dancing. It'll loosen you up a bit; you have been tense the entire trip it seems like," Jim replied.

 _Gee, I wonder why,_ Bones thought.

"Fine. You win. As usual. Let me go get ready and we'll hit the town," Bones tried not to let the sarcasm seep too far into his tone. He didn't think he was successful.

*****

As Bones walked back to his room to get ready, Jim released the breath he didn't realize he had been holding. Tonight was the night. He couldn't hold back his feelings for Bones any longer. He had been weighing the pros and cons of confessing his feelings for what seemed like years now. The fact of the matter was, he was in love with his best friend and regardless of whether it ruined what they had or not, something had to be said.

He was snapped out of reverie as Bones excited his room.

"Alright, kid let's get this party started."

Jim took in the sight of Bones in jeans that were just a little too tight and an equally fitting black button up shirt that _goddammit Bones, did your mother not teach you to button your fucking shirts to the top?_

"Well? Are you coming or are you gonna just keep standing there starin' at me all night? Ain't like you've never seen me in normal clothes before," Bones barked, rolling his eyes at before turning around to leave.

_I wonder if he's that bossy in bed?_

Shit. Jim had to stop thinking like this or else he wouldn't make it the whole night.

*****

Jim is trying to drown his anxiety with copious amounts of whiskey, but nothing is working. I can't do this. It's too much of a risk. 

"Kid, what the hell is up with you tonight?" Bones asks.

"Noth--," Jim starts.

"Bullshit."

"Bones-"

"Bullshit, Jim! I know you. You can tell me you don't wanna talk about it, but don't tell me nothin' ain't goin' on!" Bones' voice started to rise with anger. He closed his eyes, breathing heavily before finishing the rest of his drink. "You know what? Never mind. It's our last night of shore leave and you brought me out to have fun, so that's exactly what I'm gonna go do."

Jim turned to watch Bones swagger out to the dance floor, noticing all of the appreciative glances he is getting from men and women as he makes his way to the middle. He is obviously loosened from his vodka tonics as he turns his attention to a tall, dark stranger that is making his way up to him.

Jim can't ignore the jealousy that pits in his stomach as he watches Bones smile at the other man, wrapping his arms around the stranger's middle. Jim can't tear his eyes away from the awful sight he is witnessing; Bones slowly swaying, no grinding, _oh god they are grinding in the middle of the dance floor like two horny teenagers._

He turns around from the scene signaling the bartender.

"Shot of 1800 please. Actually, made it a double."

The bartender nodded, promptly getting Jim his liquid courage. He downed the shot, barely noticing the bitter after taste as he slowly stood testing his balance. The last thing he needed right now was to make an idiot out of himself drunkenly falling all over the bar. He turned back around to see Bones throwing his head back laughing as his new friend whispered something in his ear. 

_Okay. That's it._

Jim marched to the middle of the dance floor, right up to Bones and his friend.

"Excuse me," Jim stated loudly, sliding his arm between their bodies, "can I cut in for just a moment?"

Bones gave an apologetic glance to the other man before angrily turning on Jim.

"What the hell do you think you're doing Jim?" Bones asked him angrily.

"This."

Before Jim lost the courage to do anything else, he grabbed Bones by the shoulders, bringing their mouths crashing together. The kiss was fast and fierce and when they parted they were breathing like they mad both run a marathon.

"What the hell do you think you're doing Jim?" Bones asked again, his tone softer this time.

"Something I should have done years ago," Jim answered.

Jim went in to kiss him again, but Bones stopped him before their lips met.

"What is this Jim? Is this you drunkenly acting out because I decided to have fun without you?" Bones asked.

"No, it's me drunkenly acting out because looking at you laughing and touching someone else made me want to walk over here with a knife and cut his hands off," Jim replied evenly.

"So this isn't a new thing then?"

"Me and you? No," Jim laughed as he responded, "no, this isn't new. This is the oldest thing there is."

"Just makin' sure. Although I'm kind of gonna miss you droolin' and starin' at me like you've been all night," Bones teased.

"Shit. You noticed that?" Jim's face reddened in embarrassment.

"Noticed it? Hell, why did you think I went and found someone to dance with. Figured that's what you were struggling with talking about and so I decided to wager my bets and see if I could force you into taking action."

Jim stood looking at him in opened mouth shock.

"What?" Bones responded, "just because you're the genius here doesn't mean I don't know how to put 2 and 2 together. And lucky for you, I do or else who knows how long we'd still be dancing around this thing."

"So you...you've had feelings for me too?" Jim asked shyly.

"Yeah, kid. For a long time," Bones replied.

"How long?" Jim wondered.

"Since I handed you that flask and you looked at me with those baby blues that had me so flustered I could barely spit my own damn name out."

"So what you're saying is...I've had you from hello?" Jim asked with a cheeky grin.

Bones just shook his head, leaning in to place a soft kiss on those lips he had been dreaming about kissing for years.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that."


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [nightowlpost](nightowlpost.tumblr.com) prompted: jim waking up from surgery based on [this gifset](http://ewebean.tumblr.com/post/73376064774/man-forgets-he-is-married-after-surgery-x)

Jim would gladly leap in front of an incoming phaser beam that was targeted for someone else. He would risk life and limb to protect his crew. Hell, he would risk life and limb to protect complete strangers. That's just who Jim was and Bones both loved him for it and kind of wanted to punch him in the face some days for it.

What Jim avoided at all costs, however, was the medbay. Well, when it came to the actual purpose of the medbay. He would stay there all day if it meant all he had to do was flirt with the nurses and inappropriately rub up against Leonard. But Jim avoided the medbay (and Leonard) at all costs when we was actually sick or in any sort of pain. So when it had been almost a week since Bones had seen him down there, he went to seek him out. It was one of those insane weeks for them where they were working opposite shifts and only saw each other in passing and late at night when they were both too exhausted to do anything except lay in each other's arms.

Bones quietly approached the bridge one day to observe Jim and it wasn't even ten minutes before he started noticing the problem. Every time Jim would open or close his mouth, his hand would fly to his jaw rubbing it slightly. Leonard could see him noticeably wincing from the pain where he stood. He made his way back down to medbay to check his calendar. They had a scheduled stop back on Earth next week for routine maintenance of the Enterprise - the perfect time for Bones to schedule Jim an appointment with the dentist.

*****

"No! I'm not going. I'm fi--"

"How about this? If you can tell me you're fine without wincing the second your jaw snaps shut, I'll call and cancel the appointment."

Jim and Leonard stood facing each other with their arms crossed, staring like they were in a showdown in one of those old westerns. Jim was being obstinate about going to the dentist and possibly undergoing surgery so Bones decided he had to play a little dirty. For Jim's sake. 

"Darlin', I know that you think it's pointless and a waste of him, but it isn't. You run yourself ragged making sure everything and everyone on this ship is taken care of. It's your job and you are great at it. It's my job to make sure that you are taken care of. You're no good to anyone when you are distracted and frankly, it hurts me to see you hurtin' this much," Bones knew that it was a low blow bringing his own emotions into it, but it needed to be done.

Jim's expression softened when he saw the sincerity in Bones' eyes.

"Yeah, okay I'll go. For you."

***

What Bones thought was simply just a routine toothache turned out to be an abscessed tooth and required a root canal to be properly drained. 

"Is this  _really_  necessary?" Jim asked him.

"The dentist said that the nerves of your tooth were infected and this was the only thing he could do to save the tooth from having to be removed. I'm quite fond of your teeth how they are, so I'd like to see them all stay in one place," Bones answered. "Besides, the actual procedure isn't painful. They'll place you under an anesthetic and you won't feel a thing darlin'. I'll be in the waiting room the entire time and I'll be right by your side when you wake up," Bones assured him.

***

A few hours later, Jim's dentist made his way out into the waiting room where Leonard had been patiently thumbing through countless magazines. 

"Doctor McCoy?" 

Bones rose steadily and made his way over.

"How's he doing?" Bones asked.

"He's doing great. It was a routine root canal, no complications. No allergic reactions to any of the medications. He's just starting to come around and I'll go ahead and warn you - he's going to be pretty loopy for a bit."

Bones has seen plenty of patients under the effects of general anesthetic and he would never admit to anyone, even under the threat of torture, how much he was looking forward to seeing Jim out of it like this.

"Hey, Jim. How are you feeling?" Bones asked as he entered the room.

"Hey! Are you my doctor?" Jim asked.

Bones' smile got impossibly wider as he shook his head in response. This was going to be fun.

"Did the doctor send you? Are you my reward for my good behavior today?" Jim inquired lewdly.

"Nah, doc didn't send me," Bones kept his responses as vague as possible to see what else he could get out of Jim.

"Didn't think they would have someone as hot as you working in a place like this anyway. You are fucking eye candy. Are you a model?" Jim gave him what he thought was a seductive wink. "Can I get your name?"

"My name is Leo. I'm your husband, you dumb shit," Bones finally took a little pity on him before Jim got himself in trouble unknowingly with his loud mouth.

"You're my....MY husband? HOLY SHIT!" Jim sat up straight looking at Bones completely dumbfounded, "Son of a bitch, I hit the jackpot."

Bones lost it at that and before he knew it he was doubled over with laughter wiping the tears from his eyes.

"Come on, you infant, let's get you out of here," Bones reached down to help Jim up as they made their way back to their apartment at Starfleet.

***

Eventually Bones informed Jim of everything he had said under the influences of general anesthetic and as Bones had predicted, Jim was completely mortified. Jim sat with his head buried in his head, flushed a deep crimson that covered his chest and neck all the way up to the tips of his ears.

"Under no circumstance are you allowed to tell anyone what I said," Jim told him.

"Of course not. What kind of a husband do you think I am?" Bones asked innocently.

Jim gave him a disbelieving glance, but Bones kept true to his words. He didn't divulge to anyone what Jim had said at his most vulnerable points. However, in Jim's testier moments, Bones couldn't stop himself from telling Jim that if he didn't get his act together that he would go resign his CMO position to go fulfill his lifelong ambitions of being the next Cindy Crawford.

It was a guaranteed way to end whatever Jim was on about every single time.


	42. Chapter 42

Jim never let anyone in.

It's not that he didn't want someone to be close to, it's that he couldn't. He didn't want to be seen as anyone's project. He didn't want something for someone to fix.

Keeping himself distanced from everyone is how he got through it all. It's how he got through Frank. It's how he got through dealing with a mother that couldn't look at him and a brother than got as far away from Iowa as possible as soon as he was able.

It's how he got through Tarsus.

It's how be became a survivor.

He wasn't cold or callus, he was just careful. There were iron gates around his heart, thick walls he had built up his entire life. Though no one ever knew they were there because his bright eyes and hopeful smile projected an entirely different image.

No one ever wanted to get close enough to him to find out otherwise. Until suddenly, someone did.

A charming southern doctor who reeked of cheap whiskey and had beautiful hazel eyes that were brimming with self-loathing and a complete mistrust of everyone he came in contact with.

When Jim looked at Leonard McCoy on that shuttle, he saw a reflection of himself. He saw what he would look like if he let his exterior reflect what he constantly felt inside. He listened patiently as McCoy rattled on about disease and danger and Jim couldn't help but wonder if Leonard was talking about space or about himself.

Fate brought together two completely shattered souls that day on the shuttle to Starfleet.

Jim never wanted someone to fix him, but the day he met Leonard McCoy he decided he wanted to fix himself for someone else.


	43. Chapter 43

Jim looked around his dorm room nervously, going over his mental checklist. Bones had been his best friend for over 2 years, but they had only been together romantically for just over a month now. This was their first Valentine's Day together and even though Leonard told him repeatedly they didn't have to make a big deal over it, it was important to Jim. 

He was going over things for at least the tenth time when he heard the door whoosh open and Bones walk in. 

Leonard's eyes widened slightly at the spectacle before him. Jim had covered every surface in the tiny room with candles and red roses. He wanted to make a comment asking when their dorm became a nursery, but a quick glance at Jim nervously wringing his hands discouraged that.

"Jim, what is all of this?"

"Yeah, um. This. I  _may_  have gone a little overboard," Jim replied sheepishly, color creeping slowly into his face.

"No, it's great. But I told you that we didn't have to make a big deal out of this," Bones answered.

"I know, but--"

"But what?"

Jim took a few minutes to collect his thoughts, his eyes boring a hole into the ground unable to meet Leonard's gaze right then.

"Okay, listen. I realize this isn't a big deal for you. Valentine's Day. You've been there, done that a hundred times already. But," Jim took a deep breath before finally looking up into Bones' eyes,"this is a big deal to me. This is the first time that this day has had some sort of meaning or purpose to me. And I guess I just wanted to let you know that--" Jim cut his own words off as he shifted uneasily.

"Know what, Jim?" Bones closed the gap between them, placing a hand on the back of Jim's neck, his thumb rubbing slow, reassuring circles.

"Know that. Well. I love you."

The words tumbled clumsily out of Jim's mouth so quickly that Bones wasn't sure if he heard correctly. But the crimson flush of Jim's skin darkened immediately and Bones was sure of what he heard. He took both of his hands, placing them on either side of Jim's face as he leaned in resting their foreheads together.

"I get it, I really do. I wish you had told me how important this was to you."

Jim just shrugged in response.

"S'no big deal, Bones. Really."

Bones knew that was a lie. It was a big deal, but he wasn't going to dwell on that again.

"Oh, and Jim?"

"Yeah, Bones?"

Bones lifted Jim's head up to place a gentle kiss on those full lips he could never get enough of.

"I love you, too."


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > _[liiiiiiing](http://tmblr.co/mkkrg3KycbbJrUZBWXNiPDQ) prompted a mckirk something based off of [this tweet ](http://gyazo.com/344fc9dcf85d80ff3f772df105a31cdf.png)that was shown on jimmy fallon_

Leonard hates working Wednesday nights - kids eat free. Pretty much the shittiest night in his existence. But med school wasn't going to pay for itself. Besides, lately work hasn't been so bad since a certain blue-eyed blonde had been making a point to casually show up during most of his shifts.

Him and Jim hadn't been dating for very long and it was still somewhat of a secret. So when Leonard's shift manager told him that he had been requested outside of his section, he was surprised to find that it was Jim that requested him. He could feel Jim's eyes on him as he walked up to the table and greeted them. 

He could feel his face start to flush at Jim's steady gaze so he quickly took the groups's drink orders and made his escape. He took the few minutes to catch his breath and focus his brain before returning. He refused to look at Jim as he took everyone else's orders, only turning towards him when he was the last one.

"And what can I get for you sir?" Leonard asked evenly.

"Gosh, I'm not entirely sure," Jim answered, his tone rising with uncertainty. "You know - I'm not really that hungry."

 _Goddammit, Jim_ , Leo  thought.

"Well," Bones replied, "we do have our lunch specials that you can order off of."

"That still might be too much. Can I order off the kid's menu?" Jim gave him a wink and Leonard's face threatened to flush again.

_Well, two can play at that game._

"If you call me daddy," Leonard replied back with a wink of his own.

Jim's mouth dropped in surprise as his friends guffawed both at Leonard's bold comment and Jim's resulting embarrassment for it.

They stared at each other for a beat until Jim replied back with a laugh and a casual, "maybe later - if you're lucky."

Leonard took his order (finally) and gathered up the menus, but before leaving their table again, he leaned into Jim's ear, "I don't know about you, but I'm feeling pretty damn lucky right now."


	45. Chapter 45

"Kirk. James T. Kirk. _Captain_ James T. Kirk," Jim stood in front of his mirror repeating it over and over again, still not quite believing it. He thought for sure after the Narada incident that Starfleet would put someone with more experience in command of the  _Enterprise._ He didn't think in a million years that he would actually get to  _keep_ her.

"It has a nice ring to it _Captain Kirk_ ," Bones said behind him.

Jim had left the bathroom door open but didn't hear Bones come home which in turn made him jump a mile in the air.

"Sorry, kid. Didn't mean to scare you," Bones apologized as he came up behind Jim, wrapping his arm's around his boyfriend's middle. He rested his chin on Jim's shoulder as they both stared at their reflection in the mirror.

"S'okay. I'll forgive you this time," Jim said quietly as he dropped his head back to rest on Bones' other shoulder.

Bones nuzzled into the crook of Jim's neck, breathing the familiar scent in deep.

"How're you feeling about everything?" Bones asked.

"Nervous," Jim replied honestly. "I'm scared shitless, Bones. I don't want to let Pike down. I don't want to let--I know this sounds stupid, but I don't want to let my dad down either."

"It's not stupid, darlin'. Far form it. Pike is insanely proud of you, even though he won't tell you to your face. Your dad would be proud of you too. And you know, if it counts for anything at all, I'm real damn proud of you, Jim."

Jim's smile doubled in size as he turned around to face Bones, wrapping his arms around Bones' neck.

"Plus it doesn't hurt how devilishly handsome you think I am in my Command Gold," Jim said teasingly.

"You and that ego kid," Bones rolled his eyes at Jim's vain facade he put up whenever he tried to brush off his serious moments.

"You know you love it," Jim shot back.

"I love you," Bones countered evenly. He slid his hand down Jim's back to grab a handful of his perfect ass, "Captain _Kirk_."


	46. Chapter 46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _for[groffism](http://tmblr.co/mVaRmHva0SJEAlecBOX2GDA) who prompted: im meets spock before the kobayashi maru and kind of becomes obsessed with him and bones gets jealous._

bones isn't a fan of mixed signals. if you want something, you should reach out and grab it. however, the casual flirting with jim was different. for the first time in his life, leonard was enjoying the thrill of the chase. it was easier because he knew his affections were returned. he noticed it a few weeks back when they were at the bar and jim wasn't paying attention to any of the girls that were hovering too close for comfort, he seemed to only have eyes for bones.

he asked jim why he wasn't off trying to find him a warm body for the night and jim just shook his head and looked dead in leonard's eyes telling him  _no more warm bodies for me anymore, bones. i've got my eyes set on a bigger and better prize_. leonard went to sleep that night grinning like an idiot, clutching his pillow close and when he finally fell asleep that night, he dreamed of jim kirk.

not long after that night at the bar, jim had his first try at the kobiyashi maru and failed spectacularly like every other cadet in the history of the test. instead of learning the moral lesson of the test, jim vowed to do better. he sought out the counsel of mister spock, the creator of the kobiyashi maru. spock became almost a fanatical obsession of jim's - like he was trying to absorb all of the knowledge of the vulcan.

bones and jim had been getting closer but with spock taking up all of jim's time and energy, they were starting to drift apart and leonard was afraid that perhaps jim's mentor meant something more to him then he was letting on.

after about a month of _sorry bones, i'm gonna have to take a raincheck on tonight_ and i promise, _i will totally make it up to you,_ leonard snapped. there was only so much a man could take.

"hey jim," bones asked one evening, "what about on saturday night me and you, um, go out to dinner and maybe the movies or something?"

"oh man, that would be great but spock is giving this lecture on--"

"nevermind, forget it. forget i said anything. you know what? just forget the whole thing! i don't even know why i bothered with you." the hurt and rejection was crystal clear in leonard's voice.

"wait, wha-- what are you talking about? bones, don't leave," jim grabbed his arm to prevent him from walking out the door.

"what am i-- you don't know--," bones sputtered out, his eyes widened in anger. "goddammit, kid you have got to be kidding me! i'm _talking_ _about_ all of the damn mixed signals you've been giving me since pretty much the day we met!"

"wha--?" jim trailed off, his mouth opened and brows furrowed in complete and utter confusion.

"you know - the flirtin', the touchin'. i like you jim and i swear to god i thought you liked me too but i guess i was wrong. it's obvious with spock, well, it's obvious where your affections really lay," leonard's face reddened when he realized his confession, "and now i've made a damn fool of myself too, to boot."

"oh god, bones no you've got it all wrong! i do like you, i really do. and spock? spock is absolutely _brilliant_ but it's not him. he isn't you," jim replied softly.

"so you mean--me?" bones asked stupidly.

"yeah. you," jim answered with a smile.

"i feel like such an idiot," bones admits with a short laugh.

"you are," jim agreed as he took bones' hand, "but you're my idiot."


	47. Chapter 47

Bones had paced the floors of his tidy office so many times that he could feel the soles of his shoes wearing thin. He wouldn't believe the nerve of Jim. Actually that's a lie, he could totally believe his nerve. 

It hadn't even been 24 hours since his best friend and burst into his office, announcing like the giant drama queen he was, _in vain I have struggled, it will not do._

 _Easy does it, Darcy,_ Bones snapped, _what the fuck do you want?_

_You._

Just one word. That's all it took to turn Leonard McCoy's world upside down. He told Jim he needed time to think about this and Jim nodded and said he understood completely, to take his time.

So Bones paced. And thought. The debate raged inside of him, his emotions pulling him into completely separate directions. He eventually sat at his desk with his head in his hands. He could do this. He was a doctor dammit! Surely he could figure this thing out.

 _"It's impossible,"_  His pride argued.

 _"It's risky,"_  experience agreed.

 _"It's pointless,"_  reason emphatically stated.

Bones shook his head hard, trying to ignore the negative feelings coursing through his veins. A divorced man that was driven to an institution based on his biggest fear was likely to jump to the negative conclusions first. 

This wasn't about the past. This was about the future. This was about the chance to finally be happy, a chance to let go of all of the pain and hurt and anger of the past. This was about letting go of the fear of being hurt and opening himself up to the chance of being happy.

He closed his eyes once more and tried to search deep down into his soul to figure out what it is that he truly wanted. He sat there in quiet meditation for quite some time before he heard the tiny voice inside of his head, the voice he stopped listening to a long time ago.

 _"Give it a try,"_  whispered the heart.

Just like that, Bones could see it all. He could see the possibility of a lifetime with Jim. He could see a future of happiness and love. 

He stood up slowly shaking his head gently to get rid of the negative thoughts that had previously plagued his mind. The time of holding himself back was over. It was time to move forward.

It was time for love.

It was time for Jim.


	48. Chapter 48

Leonard McCoy never used to believe in fate or destiny. What you achieved in life was a result of your hard work and determination, not some pre-set idea by some gods of how your life is going to turn around. But looking back on that fateful day aboard that god forsaken shuttle in Iowa, Leonard thinks that some greater power had a hand in putting him next to Jim Kirk that day.

They parted ways when they docked in San Francisco, but it wasn't long before they found each other again. They became fast friends with Jim often crashing in Leonard's dorm because Bones had a single and Jim deemed his roommate _insufferable_.

It took less than six months before Bones stopped being surprised at finding Jim stretched out in his bed when he would get home late at night after his long shifts. Instead of kicking the kid out of his bed, he would gently shove Jim cover and warm him about not to steal the covers or else he'd be sleeping outside.

Quickly, those nights became somewhat of a confessional for Jim and Bones. It was an area of safety where they were able to tell each other everything. Their secret and shameful pasts and the hopes and dreams they held for the future. But something was always off. Bones could tell that Jim was holding back and he never could figure out why.

It was in those late nights in the dark between the sheets that Bones slowly fell in love. It was like an avalanche, he felt the signs of the break and by the time he realized that he was falling, he couldn't do anything to stop it. It was another six months full of late nights staring into those bright blue eyes before Bones decided to do something about it.

Late one summer night, Jim was in the middle of telling a story about how him and Sam used to go outside with mason jars poke holes in the lids so they could catch fireflies and keep them as pets. Bones could feel his heart clench watching Jim re-tell the story. Those rare moments where Jim was vulnerable and unguarded and looked years younger took Bones' breath away and he could resist his feelings anymore. Jim had his eyes screwed shut as he tried to regain his breath from laughing so hard when Bones leaned in and gently pressed his lips to Jim's.

There was a beat before Jim slowly opened his mouth to grant Bones' tongue passage as Leonard took his hand and cradled Jim's face. Not long after the kiss began, Jim jumped away looking scared and confused.

"Bones, I'm sorry. I can't," Jim rambled an apology as he scrambled out of bed. He searched for his shoes as he avoided looking at Bones.

"Jim, what do you mean you can't? I mean, I know you're scared, but I am too. But you can't deny what this is between us," Bones tried to reason with him. He had been watching the signs for weeks now, he knew he wasn't the only one that felt something.

"I just," Jim bounced on the balls of his feet as he searched for the right words that wouldn't make him seem like an asshole, "I can't."

"You mean you won't," Bones shot back.

"No, I mean I CAN'T!" Jim yelled.

Bones just stared at him in open mouthed shock. Jim had never gotten so much as slightly agitated with him before, let alone yelled at him.

"Bones, I'm so--" Jim tried to reach for him but Leonard slowly walked away.

"No, you made your point clear. Just go," Bones hung his head feeling embarrassed and ashamed.

Jim stopped when he reached the door hesitating like he was going to say something. He thought better of it though and went on his way.

Jim stopped coming by Bones' dorm and it wasn't long before the only times they saw each other was in passing from one class to another.

It made Bones miserable, but it was Jim's choice.

Four months after their first and last kiss, Bones heard a knock at the door.

"Who the hell is knocking at my goddamn door at midnight?" Bones asked gruffly at his front door.

"It's me," Jim answered.

Bones hesitated before opening it up and he's glad he did. Jim looked like hell, like he hadn't eaten or slept properly in weeks. He looked like Leonard felt.

"Can I come in?" Jim asked weakly.

Bones stepped aside to let him in.

"You look like you got a lot on your mind," Bones told him.

Jim laughed and gave Bones a grin that didn't quite meet his eyes.

"You could say that. I've been having nightmares. Haven't been able to sleep for weeks. Used to have nightmares all the time actually but they stopped when I was with you."

"Nightmares about what?"

Jim sighed as he perched on the edge of Bones' bed, motioning for him to join him. And in the small space that had become their confessional, Jim told Bones his story. He told him about his father and the look of disappointment in his mother's eyes every time she looked at him. He told him about Frank and how he would watch Sam take extra beatings if it meant that his mother and baby brother would remain unharmed.

He told him about Tarsus.

He told him every dirty little secret. Every misstep along the way that had made him the fucked up individual he had become. Every misfortune that he used as an excuse to keep Bones at a distance.

They sat side by side in for a few minutes, neither of them wanting to break the comfortable silence. Finally, Jim spoke up.

"Thank you," he told Bones after he finished pouring his heart out.

"For what?" Bones wanted to know exactly what the purpose of this visit really was.

"For letting me in. For listening. For everything," Jim stated.

"I'm glad you are telling me all of this. But why? Is this because you need a friend, someone to talk to about everything because I know you don't really have anyone you trust. Or is this something else?"  
Jim thought about it for a moment before he answered.

"What do you want?"

"No, kid. This ain't about me right now. This has to be your choice about what you want."

"I love you," Jim blurted out.

Bones opened his mouth to counteract his statement but Jim put a finger up to Bones' lips silencing him.

"I love you. I knew it the minute I met you on that goddamn shuttle. I'm sorry sorry it took so long for me to catch up," Jim's voice broke with emotion as he grabbed Leonard's hands between his. "I just got stuck."

Bones leaned in and kissed him on his temple, holding his head close.

"You're a goddamn fool," Bones whispered in his ear.

"I know. God, do I know," Jim fervently agreed, "but do you think there is any hope of you giving this fool a chance?"

"I shouldn't. I should know better," Bones answered truthfully, "but the heart wants what it wants. And I want you."

"I want you too. I'll make it up to you. I'll spend every day showing you that you didn't make the wrong choice. I promise I'll try my hardest not to fuck this up."

Bones didn't reply, just wrapped his arms around Jim as they sat on the edge of his bed. For the second time in his life, Leonard has fallen completely head over heels in love with his best friend. The first time had ended badly, with Bones having to leave everything he had ever known behind. He only hoped he wasn't making another mistake.

"The only way you could fuck this up," Bones replied, "is by thinking you are gonna fuck it up. So let's just take it day by day. You're my best friend and at the end of the day, what's really different? It's me and you kid, just like it's always been."

Jim smiled at that reassuring thought.

"Now, why don't we call it a night? You look like hell and I'm sure both of us could use a good night's sleep." 

They quickly undressed and crawled under the covers, each of them reveling in the fact that they were finally able to be together. Even though they were completely exhausted, they still spent another two hours quietly talking and stealing kisses. When they finally did fall asleep, it was in a heap of tangled limbs.

It was the best night's sleep either of them ever had.


	49. Chapter 49

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _anon wanted mckirk based on[this quote](http://wilwheaton.co.vu/post/74776052865/id-choose-you-in-a-hundred-lifetimes-in-a)_

When Jim reappeared back on the Enterprise after Spock had marooned him on Delta Vega, Leonard's reactions were a definite mix of shock and awe. Hell, if anyone could get themselves off of a damn ice planet, it's Jim Kirk.

But there was something off about Jim, he could tell. You didn't share a bed with someone for two years without being able to pick up on these things.

Life got hectic though, with Nero and Narada so Bones waited it out. It wasn't until they were back in San Francisco, back huddled in Bones' tiny bed that they both complained about until they were blue in the face, but neither of them would admit how much they liked the necessary closeness.

They had been back for two days when Leonard finally decided to broach the subject.

"So what happened, Jim?"

Jim was halfway to heaven in his mind, clinging to consciousness by a mere thread. "Hmm?"

"On Delta Vega. Something happened and don't tell me it was nothing because I know you better than that. You can lie to everyone else and say that it was nothing major, just overwhelming circumstances. But you can't lie to me."

Jim kept his eyes closed and his breathing was deep and even. Anyone else could have mistaken it for sleep, but Leonard knew that Jim was collecting his thoughts, trying to figure out how to explain.

"Okay, so you know how I told you Nero wasn't from our world but another world and he had a beef with Spock?" Jim started, still keeping his eyes firmly shut.

"Yeah."

"When I was on Delta Vega, he was there. I met him. Spock, I mean. Older, other world Spock"

Jim took Leonard's silence as a sign to keep talking.

"He showed me some things from his world. With his Jim. Apparently the relationship he had with the Jim in his time was a lot more, um, _intimate_ than the one we have now."

Jim didn't want to clarify it any further, so he slowly opened his eyes to see if Bones understood. 

Judging by the hurt look in his boyfriend's eyes, he got it.

"Oh. So that's what you've been thinking about," Bones heart dropped a little at the implications.

"No, that's not what I mean and you know it," Jim protested.

"If you had known all of this before me, before us, then who knows what choice you would've made. Maybe you would have made the better one."

Leonard tried to slowly shift away from Jim, but was stopped when Jim slowly snaked his arm around Bones' chest to hold him closer.

"I would never. It's you, you know. It's always been you. Always gonna be," Jim whispered in his ear.

"You don't know that. If you had known before...you chose him once, you could do it again."

"That wasn't me. I mean, it was me, but it wasn't me, you know?"

"But you can't tell me that if you known--"

Jim silenced Bones with a brief but firm kiss.

"I do know. If I had to do it all over again, if I had to make this choice knowing what I know now, I'd choose you. In a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you."

Bones was speechless by Jim's words and the sincerity in his tone.

"I don't know what to say," Bones started.

"Don't say anything, then. You'll just ruin it with your big mouth," Jim had closed his eyes again and was snuggled up against Bones' back. It wasn't long until his soft snores were filling up the room.

Bones laid there for a few minutes, enjoying the warmth at his back, Jim's words playing in his mind over and over again until he drifted off.


	50. Chapter 50

when their relationship was still shiny and new, jim and bones spent an inordinate amount of time talking about how stupid they were about each other before they finally came to their senses.

_i hated going to the bars with you. every time someone would touch you, i wanted to tell them to back off. that you were mine._

_damn, bones, didn't know you had a jealous streak. that's kind of hot._

in the early morning hours, it didn't matter how ridiculous their confessions were because the silliness is what got them to this point.

_i used to fake allergy attacks to come see you in medical when i missed you after a couple days._

_yeah i know, you aren't a very good actor._

they cherished the moments because when the morning came, they had to go back to being captain and cmo.

_i pretended i was completely lost the night before my xenolinguistics exams so you would stay up all night and help me study._

_i figured. no one could be completely hopeless and then ace their exam four hours later._  i  _couldn't even pull that off._

when the morning came, it was back to their duties. but in those late nights, tangled up in each other, they got to just be jim and bones.


	51. Chapter 51

_Why did you do it, Bones?_

_You know why._

Bones had kind of hoped once they got back to Starfleet that Jim would forget about exactly how and why he was on board the Enterprise in the first place. 

_I told you why, I couldn’t just le--_

_Leave me there looking all pathetic, yeah I remember._

Tension filled the room as Leonard slowly unpacked his bags, looking everywhere except at Jim. Jim however, was staring holes straight into Bones, willing him to just look at him for a second.

_Why did you do it, Bones?_

Leonard stopped still, the tension visible in his shoulders as he answered Jim once more, his voice barely above a whisper.

_You know why._

His gut instinct rarely let him down, so trusting what he felt to be right, he crossed the room and got right in front of Bones. He brought his hands up framing Bones’ face as he got closer, their lips mere inches away from each other.

_Why did you do it, Bones?_

Jim’s voice was so low, Leonard wasn’t sure if he actually heard the words or merely felt them on lips lips. He flexed his fingers, trying to fight the itch before giving into temptation and resting his hands gently on Jim’s hips; his eyes finally meeting Jim’s for the first time since they got back.

_You know why._

Finally getting the confirmation he needed, Jim closed the last inch between them, sighing softly when their lips met for the first time. It was brief and chaste, but just the gentle touch lifted a huge weight off of Jim’s shoulders.

_So, why did you do it, Bones?_

Jim’s tone was teasing now and Leonard couldn’t help the smile that filled his face.

_I told you, you infant. I couldn't just leave you._


	52. Chapter 52

_Goddammit, I’m a doctor! I should be able to figure out something this simple._

Jim had paused his hand mid-knock, listening in on Bones’ heated conversation between himself and, well, himself. The longer he stood there the more frustrated Bones was sounding. Finally after a few moments, he slowly opened the door and couldn’t help the bark of laughter that escaped when he saw the frenzied state Bones had worked himself into - his brows were furrowed deep in concentration, his cheeks were flushed with rage and a roll of medical tape was tangled clumsily around his hands. 

“Dammit, Jim! Haven’t you ever heard of knocking?”

Jim pursed his lips together to try and fight back the smile that was threatening. He couldn’t help it - Bones looked so cute when his nostrils flared in rage and his eyes were filled with homicidal thoughts directed at him.

“I was going to but you seemed like you were under duress so I took the liberty of letting myself in,” Jim’s voice had a bit of a sing-song tone to it as he batted his eyelashes innocently in his CMO’s direction. “What the hell are you up to anyways?”

“I’m, um,” Bones’ faced flushed furiously as he tried to dig up the correct word, “I’m  _practicing_ .” 

“Practicing?” Now it was Jim’s turn to raise his eyebrows. “Practicing for what?”

“Well, you know we have that thing coming up.”

Bones was trying to stay as vague as possibly, practically able to taste Jim’s teasing once he told him what he was actually doing.

“That thing? The only thing we have coming up is an aid mission to New Vul--” Jim’s words drifted off and his eyes widened as it dawned on him what Bones was up to. “Bones, are you trying to figure out how to do the ta’al?”

Bones’ eyes quickly dropped to the floor as he shrugged, “I figured it would be a good sign of faith. A sign of respect for the Vulcans after everything they’ve lost.”

Jim’s expression softened as he walked over to perch on the corner of Bones’ desk, taking his hand. “You’re really amazing, you know that?”

“Oh come on, Jim. You know I’m not all gruff and bitterness.”

“Oh, I know. But you’re sweeter side you usually only save for me.”

Bones finally raised his eyes to look at Jim and they spent a few moments getting lost in each other. After the destruction of Vulcan and everything that happened with Nero and Narada, they didn’t get too much time for just  _them_ anymore. 

When Bones finally broke the silence, his tone lost it’s hostile edge. “You gonna just stare at me with that dreamy look in your eye or you gonna help me?”

Jim’s smile widened as he started to untangle the tap from Bones’ fingers. “Even if it takes all night.”


	53. Chapter 53

_I want you there_ , Jim tells Bones, a few days before the anniversary of the destruction of the Kelvin. A few days before the day he was born. A few days before the day his father died. His presence at the memorial was practically mandatory and he couldn't bare the thought of facing this without his best friend.

I _want you there,_ Jim tells Bones, begging him to be on the bridge with him during his third [and final] crack at the Kobayashi Maru. Bones rolls his eyes and tries to feign he is needed elsewhere, but they both know that Bones will end up by Kirk's side the entire time.

 _I want you there_ , Jim tells Bones a couple days later as he prepares for his hearing. Jim ignores Bones rants about how he put both of their careers in jeopardy over this stupid stunt and he hopes it was worth it. Jim bites back a smile, because he knows Bones wouldn't approve of his smug attitude - but it was  _totally_ worth it.

So after the dust had settled after the Narada fiasco, when they were back at Starfleet, Jim asked the question that he felt he hadn't really gotten a proper answer for.

"Why'd you do it, Bones?"

And Bones didn't have to as what he was referring to, just shrugged his shoulders as he lifted his beer to his lips, whispering into the bottle.

_I wanted you there._


	54. Chapter 54

you know how the old saying goes - nothing good ever happens after 2am. 

but bones has found that the best things in his life have happened after 2am.

the all night day drive from their cramped apartment at ole miss to las vegas that ended up with leonard and jocelyn joyfully staring at each other at 3:16 in the morning as they said their, "i do's" because neither of them could wait another 6 months for a proper wedding.

the beautiful cries that came at 2:49am two years later as leonard held his baby girl for the first time in his life.

the best things in leonard's life happen after 2am and that tradition never changed, even after he enlisted in starfleet and he thought nothing good would ever happen to him again.

it was a late night conversation that started innocently enough. bones doesn’t even remember how it started. he thinks it began with jokes about how if jim didn’t quit his shit (and let’s face it, with jim there was always shit), he’d be forced to go find jim a new best friend.

_ never, bones. besides, when will i ever meet someone like you? _

_ i bet you say that to all the guys. _

_ only the ones that i’m a little bit in love with. _

_ oh? and who are these guys you’re in love with? _

bones’ tone was teasing, but the intent was real. he glanced at the clock.

2:24am

_ you, of course. _

and suddenly their entire friendship shifted.

the air in the room stood still. the only sound in the room was the frantic beating of dueling hearts.

_ only a little bit? _

_ well, maybe a lot. but only maybe. _

_ can i tell you a secret, kid? _

bones edged his hand closer to jim’s, taking his pinky and lightly stroking the top of jim’s hand. and when bones spoke again, his voice was a mere whisper.

_ me too. _

jim let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

_ i’m kinda scared, bones. i didn’t plan on ever doing this. _

_ don’t be scared. _

_ have i fucked everything up? _

_no, you didn’t fuck anything up. you made it better._

the best things in leonard's life happen after 2am.


End file.
